"Both the Builder and the Wrecking Ball"

When I first started working I drove past this little church everyday. They always had encouraging little quotes or sayings on their sign. This particular one caught my attention more than others (and has stuck with me ever since).

"Allow God to renovate your life"

-the sign outside the New Hope AME Church

At the time I was working on a huge home renovation project. It was my first job out of college and I really didn't know anything about renovating a house. I was a fish out of water, but I was determined to learn everything I could and do a good job. Thankfully, I worked in the office of a fabulous designer who led me through some uncharted territory and taught me everything I needed to know.

Today that sign means more to me.

For the past nine months I have been working on another huge renovation. Only this one isn't a multi-million dollar home renovation, it is a life renovation-- my life.

At first I was a bit resistant to the change. In fact, I would say for the first few months there really wasn't much work being done, at least none that I could see. It was more like the planning and permitting stage. With any good renovation you have to make plans and once they are set you go get the permits. Then the demolition begins.

Demolition felt like the longest part of this process. The Lord ripped out so many of my misconceptions about who He is and who I am in Him. He tore down walls I had built to protect myself and walls I put up to keep feelings at bay. This part is hard and often painful.

"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain."

--Kahil Gibran

Demolition left me feeling empty and broken. I wasn't sure there was anything left of Melissa Rau to salvage and if there was I wasn't sure I would make. But the Lord was my support and my strength. I kept reminding myself: "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Jesus Christ." (Philippians 1:6)

Sometimes [truthfully, always] renovations take longer then the homeowner anticipates. So you have to learn to wait. [I'm learning, slowly but I'm learning] But it so exciting when the new stuff starts going in and the plans begin to take shape right before your very own eyes! Truth is put into place and Love abounds. Joy and Peace and Patiences begin to be more than just a dream. Faith is something you have not just something you want.

I didn't set out nine months ago to start this renovation project. I really just thought the Lord was teaching me some new things and sending me in a new direction. But today I see it as so much more. He has done a work that only He can take credit for. "Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain." (Psalms 127:1)

He has knocked me down only to build me up even stronger. He is my firm foundation, my rock and my salvation!