I've Got the Urge to Say Something but Got Nothing Much to Say

[I'm laughing now because for not having much to say that is a rather wordy title]

Life is interesting these days.

I was [notice the past tense] working at the Capitol for two great men, Senator John Bulloch from south west GA and Senator Ralph Hudgens from the Athens area. It was a good experience. Much different than my last experience down there. Not better per say, not worse either, just different. That fun ended on May 5th, I packed my bags and headed to South Africa on May 7th to spend two weeks and two days visiting the man who has captured my heart. What a sweet time it was to have together! Seeing where he is from, meeting his friends and family, exploring the country, having fun, laughing together... we were very blessed in our time together!

I arrived back in the states on May 24th very tired and still recovering from being sick. [oh yes folks, I was sick for five days during my visit!] Eleven days have now passed since then and I'm not quite sure what to do with myself. I know I need to get out there and find a J-O-B. But summer is tempting me with her bright sunshine and carefree spirit to put that off as long as I can...

In 15 days I turn 27...

That is about all I got. Not much after months of blog silence. So I'll end with a few nice pics from my trip!

Me and Stefan in Kruger National Park

At his parent's house

Fun on the farm feeding his brother's little lambs!

The Day in-between

I was laying in bed this morning wondering how the disciples must have felt and what they must have been thinking as they woke up (if they were even able to find sleep) the day after Jesus was put into the grave. I am sure there was great sorrow among them. And an even greater feeling of defeat-- the man they put all their hope in and believed to be their savior was dead and in the grave.

They didn't know in His death He actually won victory over death. I can't even imagine how they must have felt that day... I know the story doesn't end on day two. I can't imagine not knowing the end of the story! Waking up on that day in-between not knowing all the pain and suffering Jesus endured would actually set me. Free from all guilt and shame; freedom from the bondage of sin!

What was seen to them was the death of a man they loved, respected, and put their hope in. Paul had not yet written the words "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what i unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." (2 Corinthians 4:18) for them to find comfort in.

I wonder if they were discussing the words they knew by heart He had spoken to them trying to put the pieces of what had happened together? I wonder if they were so sad they did nothing but weep and morn. I hope there was at least one among them who spoke truth to the others: there must be hope... the story must not be over. But I don't know? Scripture doesn't tell us. I have to believe the Lord sustained them and comforted them on that day in-between.

What a great surprise it must have been for those men and women to see Jesus that next day! They had not lost all hope on the day in-between. Hope had been given to them through the death and rising of their Lord Jesus Christ!

Today we have the words of Paul to remind us to fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen... and we know the end of the story: Jesus is alive and has conquered the grave and brought us life!

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you. It is written: 'I believed; therefore I have spoken.' With that same spirit of faith we also believe and therefore speak, because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you in his presence. All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God. Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving or us eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

2 Corinthians 4:7-18

The Lost Art of Letter Writing

I've always loved letters.

It is funny how much a thing of the past they have become. I wonder if kids are even taught how to write a letter in school anymore [hmm... I will be sure to teach any children in my life this art] I bet people think of letters as a thing of Jane Austen's time, not today. Today we have email, facebook, twitter, word documents even. They are instant and fast. We can get our words to the other person quickly. Why would anyone ever take the time to sit down and write a note by hand?

Let me tell you why you should sit down and write a letter to someone you love:

Letters are lovely
Letters are words into a person's heart
Letters are thoughtful and kind
Letters have a way of unlocking your soul.

[Warning, this next part may be a bit of a NEWS FLASH to some of you]

Last night I came home from a long day of work to find an envelope waiting for me. It wasn't a bill or party invitation-- it was a letter from South Africa! I have been dating the sweetest boy who lives in South Africa for the past four months. I was not expecting anything from him so this was the most wonderful surprise. He is very thoughtful! And has the most beautiful way with words. I crawled into bed and opened the letter. Dried rose petals fell out as I pulled out the paper... I was transported into a world where Stefan and I don't live thousands of miles away, a place where we are close in heart and spirit. It is a precious gift!

Reading a letter is so much different than reading an email. Seeing the person's hand writing, knowing they touched that piece of paper. You can hold it in your hand, it is almost as if the person were there in the room with you. Emails don't have that power or grace. We use them for work as much as we use them for pleasure. They are pretty standard. Times New Roman Font, in black on a white background. We all use them and honestly, I love email too-- but there is nothing so charming nor so lovely as a hand writen note. Even between two friends letters are wonderful. I have a friend who lives less than 15 miles away and we still send letters to each other.

Call me a hopeless romantic, but I think letters are charming and kind, warm and endearing, and just about the sweetest gift you can give. And for me the sweetest gift Stefan can give me are his words.

Wonder

Do you wonder what I've been up to for the past month? I do too...

Honestly, January has flown by faster than any other month I can remember. Here is what I can remember:

I started a new job on the 6th. I'm back at the State Capitol if you can believe it-- some days I sure can't. I'm working as an aide again, only I'm working for two different senators. It has been interesting so far...

I've been going to bed waaaay too early for a twenty-six-year-old, single girl. Most nights I try to get into my bed before 10pm. And if I get in there much past 10:30, I'm pretty grumpy, I mean sleepy...

I traveled to visit my sweet friends the Griggs in Greenville last weekend. It was wonderful to get out of town and spend some great time with them. They have two of the sweetest, cutest little girls in the whole world. Since I have no nieces or nephews of my own I sure am blessed to have them in my life.

Really, that is about all I can remember. I feel like I've fallen off the face of the planet and honestly I probably have a bit. I never thought going back to work would be so hard after not working for three months. Slowly I'm getting used to the schedule and honestly I'm enjoying going to work every day (I haven't done that since the last time I worked at the Capitol as an aide).

Tomorrow starts a new month and I am going to try to be more faithful to write more.

Hope, Snow, Love, and an Update

Happy New Year friends!

I know, I know we are already seven days into 2010, but all things considered it is still relatively new. And it is still happy! I can't remember being as excited about a new year as I am about this one. I'm not sure what all is in store for the year, but I know that God is good and only wants the best for me so I'm excited to see all He has for me...

"You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and the hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands."

Isaiah 55:12

I am siting in my office at home watching the snow flakes fall outside as I type. My heart is warm despite the cold outside. I just love the snow! Every time it falls from the sky I am reminded of God's sweet love for me. It is a visible reminder of something that can seem so intangible at times.

"Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the Lord who has compassion on you.

Isaiah 54:10

I realize if you read my blog for updates on my life and not just to read my random ramblings you might be wondering how the "big test" went and if I have my results yet. So, let me tell you! The day had finally arrived and let's just say I could have been a bit more prepared. I took the test at Herzing College in Buckhead, which I didn't know existed until a few months ago when I registered for the test. It was very strange to arrive at Lenox Square Mall at 8am on a Saturday morning to take such an important test (the school is located in Lenox). I hadn't studied like I should have, but I felt pretty peaceful as I sat down to take the test.

Oh boy was it hard!

I left the test that day knowing I had been obedient to take the test and glad to have finally taken it. I honestly didn't expect to receive some amazingly high score, but I also knew it was totally in the Lord's hands. If He wanted me to go to law school He would make it clear to me that was what I was supposed to do and if I wasn't supposed to He would make that just as clear.

On the 28th of December I was surprised to receive my score early. [I was expecting it on the 4th of January] It was low. Very low. Too low to even consider applying to any law programs. At first I was sad, and my pride was very hurt. I thought surely I was smart enough to just walk into the test center [to take one of the hardest tests out there] and do okay. But then as I spoke to some friends and my parents about it and I realized I got my answer.

It was just a clear "no."

So, I won't be attending law school this fall. And I am okay with that. I'm not sure what I'll be doing this fall or even this spring for that matter. But I am learning to be okay with that.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your path straight."

Proverbs 3:5-6

I've taken a job as a senate aide at the state capitol for the 2010 legislative session. I'll probably be there until April. After that I don't know where God will call me. But I'm going to keep my ears and my heart open to whatever he might call me to do. And for now I have a job and I am very thankful for that!

PS

I'm not sure what I'm going to do with myself now...

Farewell Facebook, Hello Freetime!

Resolution #1 for 2010: deactivate facebook account.

I am sorry to see you go, but alas we must part. You have taken up too much of my free time and kept me from really knowing how my "friends" are doing. I get on and waste hours away looking at pictures, "checking up" on people, etc. etc. In essence, I use you for all the wrong reasons. You lead me to gossip, and think things about people, when I really have no idea what is happening with them-- I simply assume things based upon what I read and what I see.

No MORE!

I will admit you are not always bad. We have had some good times. You have help me reconnect with old friends, stay in touch with people I might have lost touch with, and because of you one certain person might have had a much harder time finding me (those of you who know what I'm talking about know how thankful I was for facebook that day!)... and for that I say thank you.

But we are through. I have given you up twice before, but this time it is for real. No more coming back in a few months, or sneaking on to see if so and so is engaged or had their baby yet.

This year I will truly check up on my friends. I will pick up the phone and call or email. I will send notes and letters. I will print out pictures for friends and share good news in person.

Good-bye my old friend. We have been friends for a long while now. Life will not be the same without you, but I do think we will both go on [and I for one will not look back]

Parting is such sweet sorrow.