The Life and Times of M.Rau

This Valentine's Day...

2012-02-14T08:18:00.008-05:00

I am blessed to know the love of an amazing man!

A man who loves me unconditionally. Shows me grace every step of the way. Has taught me how to love others better and even how to receive love more fully. He always takes to lead. He never speaks against me. He fills my heart with so much joy that I feel as if I might burst these days!

Our relationship has certainly been a journey and I imagine it will continue to be... but I know He isn't going to leave me and will always protect me and cherish me and love me every step of the way!

Most days I wonder how did am I so lucky to know this man? He is a dream boat for sure! And the truth is I am so BLESSED! He loved me, sought me out, and bought me at a very high price. It is more love than my heart can hold! But I will cling tightly to Him and trust that His love for me will never change.

The best part is He loves you too! And always has. Do you know the depths of the love He has? I hope that you do... it is a sweet, sweet love...

"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us."

1 John 4:7-12

An Avid...

2012-02-07T23:17:00.002-05:00

Christian?

I've never thought to put those two words together. I just read through an email where someone called me an avid Christian. At first I thought, I am not an avid Christian. Runners are avid but not Christians, and certainly not me. I am not an avid Christian! I am very serious about my faith and it certainly isn't just a hobby that I am crazy about...

But then I decided to look up the definition of avid and found this: Marked by keen interest and enthusiasm; characterized by enthusiasm and vigorous pursuit.

Enthusiasm and vigorous pursuit?! Well, maybe I do want to be counted as an avid Christian! And I guess if I really think about it, avid runners are probably some of the best and most devoted runners out there. They know the sport, they enjoy it, and they are probably very good at it because they work at it daily and devote their lives to being the best runner they can be. So, to be an avid Christian certainly wouldn't be a bad thing! It would actually be an amazing thing! And that might just be one of the sweetest compliments I have ever received!

New Year... Renewed!

2012-02-06T00:46:00.004-05:00

{How is it February already?}

I'm sitting in my room and it is almost 1 AM... a new day has started and here I am to greet it. I've been having trouble going to bed early this year. And even as I sit here now typing I realize the old me has returned. The girl who stays up too late, too often. The girl who loves life and never wants to miss a thing. The girl who smiles and laughs!

She is back and I am rejoicing!!

Mission Failed... But Grace and Joy Prevail!

2012-01-29T23:09:00.005-05:00

Well, it has been a very long time since my last posting... a very long time indeed...

I have to tell you the months of November and December were very hard months. I totally failed my thankfulness challenge and to be honest, I was pretty low and struggled to find the energy to express the little gratitude I had in my heart. I kept telling myself [and my mother kept saying to me] try to write something, it will surely help. But my strength was zapped and I just couldn't do it. It wasn't that I couldn't see all that I had to be thankful for, I just couldn't find my voice.

But thankfully the Lord knows my heart! He knew deep in my heart and my soul I was thankful. And His grace covered me and gave me the strength to make it through the last two months of 2011.

So today I would like to finish my challenge with 74 things I am thankful for:

27. A new year

28. A new Mac Book Pro

29. A new job

30. sweet girlfriends I can laugh with and share in the joy of Christ

31. adventures, big and small

32. HOPE

33. Great Expectations

34. The way God works in such mysterious ways in my life

35. My parents

36. Seeing answered prayers in my life

37. A new working schedule that allows me to have a bit of freedom

38. New black pants

39. Riding Boots

40. Getting to study Acts with one of the best Bible teachers and sweetest ladies I know

41. Knowing God is going to show up this year in BIG WAYS

42. Books

43. Getting off at 5PM again

44. Getting my Weekends back

45. Sunday lunch at my grandparents

46. A generous uncle

47. Art

48. New babies

49. Christ is strongest in our weakness

50. Inventions like Skype

51. Random fun

52. Fun memories from 2011

53. Plans to travel more this year

54. Flowers

55. Pedicures

56. New cookbooks

57. Seeing God work in lives around me

{This is hard!}

58. Glimmers of Hope

59. Hot showers

60. Warm Coffee

61. Being a part of a Godly legacy

62. Knowing people are praying for me

63. Friends who push me out of my comfort zone

64. Friends who push me toward Christ

65. Friends who love me even though they know way too much about me

66. God's unconditional love for me

67. Forgiveness

68. Grace

68. Serving a God who still speaks to His children

69. I am counted as a child of God

70. I hear the Lord's voice

71. My new Le Creuset Pan

72. Really good deals on really great things

73. That I have gotten to travel and see so much of the world already

74. I've seen the Pacific Ocean, the Atlantic Ocean, the Gulf of Mexico, the Mediterranean, The Dead Sea and The Red Sea

75. A generous Mom

76. Special Breakfasts with my Dad

77. God's constant provisions in my life

78. Fun

79. Laughter

80. Krispy Kreme Donuts

81. Sunshine

82. The way a full moon lights up the earth beneath it

83. The beauty of creation

84. Old friends

85. Cold Beer

86. A passion for food

87. The unique way God knit me together

88. The way God moves me along

89. The way God is always working on my behalf

90. The days we see snow in GA

91. Time spent away

92. Joy found only in Christ

93. Sweet times with the Lord

94. Freedom

95. The wisdom that comes from Christ alone

96. The Holy Spirit

97. Pictures

98. Big beds and soft sheets

99. this challenge is over

100. My all and all Jesus.

No. 26

2011-11-08T10:40:00.002-05:00

A Monday off...

Yesterday I had the day off! Now I groaned and complained that I had to work Friday, Saturday and Sunday this past weekend. It really wasn't that bad, but I managed to bemoan it all weekend long. Even working every day I still got to have breakfast with a friend, get my oil changed, go to another friend's birthday party, see my best friend from growing up and her family, sleep in and have a lazy evening at home. So for all general purposes it was a pretty nice weekend and at the end of it I didn't have to go to work the next day!

Normally, I do get up on Mondays and go to work and they are usually very stressful/full days. But this Monday was a real treat! I woke up, watched a little Regis and Kelly (haven't done that in ages), and then I started on a task I have been trying to start for months now: cleaning out my closet. Boy did it feel good to get started! Then I had a nice little break when my girlfriend and her sweet little almost four month old son came to pick me up and we went out to lunch. Now that was fun and such a blessing to see them! Then it was back to work on my room... and I actually made some really good progress! And the best part about the whole day might have been arriving at Bible Study on time and not exhausted. It was wonderful!!

So, I admit I complained way to much and honestly am so guilty of complaining way too often about stuff that really isn't a big deal. And working on Sunday was really a blessing because Lord knew I needed the extra hours! But I am very thankful for a glorious day off yesterday!

No. 25

2011-11-07T10:34:00.003-05:00

[I'm not feeling very chatty today so you'll have to excuse the short post!]

Falling Back, aka the end of Daylight Savings

I am not much of a morning person, so trying to wake up before 8 AM in the pitch black is VERY difficult! So I can't tell you how excited I was for Daylight savings to come to an end this year... VERY excited. Now, I am like everyone else out there who hates for it to get dark so early in the evening, but I can barely keep my eyes open much pass 10:30 PM any more so really I don't think it is going to be so bad this year.

Or maybe I am just choosing to go with it this year. AND maybe I am starting to make that shift in adulthood where you would just rather go to bed early and get up earlier. I don't know yet, this is a first for me! But I do know I am SO thankful when my alarm goes off at 7:15 AM I am happy to see the sunshine!!

A run through of October

2011-11-02T12:04:00.003-04:00

No. 20
Got to spend three days at the Cloister with my aunt and one of her best (and most fun) friends! Pure luxury!

No. 21
Followed by five days on St. Simons Island with my parents and best friends and aunt!
October is the best month ever to be down there!!!

No. 22
Standing up with one of my best friends as she married the man of her dreams!
Such an answer to years of prayers!

No. 23
Getting to go away with my mom for a weekend!
A sweet time together!

No. 24
Borrowed dogs!
They might be the best kind... only when you have to return them it is sad.

No. 17, 18 & 19...

2011-11-02T11:45:00.004-04:00

My favorite Italian Coffee showing up unexpectedly!

After being away for a week and arriving home very tired from a fun-filled weekend of wedding festivities I found this can of coffee sitting on the kitchen counter!

Now, you may ask yourself, what is so special about this coffee? And I would like to answer you! I have never been able to find this coffee in the US. So, the one and only can I brought home from Rome last year is the only can I have ever had of this delicious, perfectly roasted coffee. I love coffee and for me this is the most perfect cup of coffee in the world!

Now, you may ask yourself how in the world did you get this coffee? Surely if you had gone to Italy you would have listed it as something to be thankful for no matter how big of a pity party you were having!

You are right about that!

This coffee was brought to me by perfect strangers. If I passed them on the street I wouldn't even know to thank them. But my Aunt Sharon would. Her co-worker's parents were going to Italy and when she found out about their trip and asked her co-worker if he would ask his parents to pick me up a can. Crazy and kind, right?!

So, pretty much I can count this one as 17 and 18...and 19! Thankful for the coffee (which sadly is already gone!) and thankful for my aunt's thoughtfulness and the kindness of strangers!

Can I make it to 100 by Thanksgiving?

2011-11-02T11:31:00.004-04:00

I haven't been feeling very thankful since my last post. Honestly, I've pretty much been having a pity party. Sorry I forgot to send you an invitation! But I'm making last call and about to lock the door, so it would be sort of a waste to invite you now...

You can be thankful I didn't invite you! [can I count that one toward my 100 days?!]

The stupidest thing about this whole pity party is that I have actually had a lot of cool stuff going on. So... in an attempt to make up for lost days I am going to try and be REALLY, REALLY Thankful today and in the days to come! I will end with a verse that I love:

"Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet, I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of the deer, he enables me to go on the heights."

Habakkuk 3:17-19

No. 16

2011-09-10T12:27:00.006-04:00

Glimmers of Hope

[warning: this entry will have full disclosure... may be more than you want to know]

It feels like Fall all the sudden! Which shouldn't really be surprising since it is past Labor Day and all my white pants are put away. But in the south it seems like Labor Day is usually more of a pump fake then a true farewell to Summer. This year it feels totally different. It seems there has been a clear marking in time. One season is over a new season is underway...

[why is it so hard for me to go onto my next thought here?]

I was taking a walk this morning thinking about this summer and how I wanted to be thankful for it even though it didn't end how I had hoped it would. The question in my heart was, How can I be thankful for something that was not the happy ending I thought for sure it would be?

It was a magical summer, that is for sure and there is one aspect that must be shared. It is, of course, the hardest one for me to get out. I went out with a boy. A boy I really, really liked. I met him in the early spring and the night I met him fell hard for. He was like no one I had ever met before! So handsome, tall, brilliant, charming, smart, successful, here in Atlanta and we seemed to just get one another. But it was a very slow going... he wrote to me (oh, how romantic!) then I heard nothing for a month. Then in May things picked up again slowly and by June we were talking and hanging out. It was like a dream come true! We danced the night away on my birthday-- never would I have imagined a more perfect birthday celebration, surrounded by all my friends and dancing with the most handsome man at he party! He took me on some fun dates, it was amazing! But then he dashed off into his exciting life of travel... I got a postcard and missed him a whole lot. We had one last date when he got back and that was the last I heard of him... and the end of the fairy tale.

To be honest my joy was dashed for a bit and my heart, while not broken, was hurting. It is never fun to have something so fun taken away. But I continually think about what a dear friend of mine always says to me, "God gives us glimmers of hope sometimes to remind us He loves us and wants to satisfy the desires of my hearts." So the answer to my question is I can be thankful for much! It was a fun summer. I was reminded how much fun dating can be. I got to go out on fun dates, with a very handsome, sweet guy. My heart was awakened with a little glimmer of hope.

It seems only fitting that this year Labor Day is a fine farewell to Summer. This summer deserved a proper bon vonage. It was a great summer! I think the Lord knew I needed it and I am so thankful for it!

Praise the Lord oh my soul and let all that is within me praise His name!

No. 15

2011-09-08T21:44:00.002-04:00

When the Lord lifts your burden!

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon me and learn from me, for I am gentle and huble of heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light"
Matthew 11:28-30

No. 14

2011-09-06T22:59:00.002-04:00

A Long Weekend Away... at the beach!

Rest, sun, sand, the water, fresh fish, laughs... with three of the sweetest friends a girl could ask for! It was hard to come back... but I'm trying to be thankful anyhow.

No. 13

2011-09-02T09:43:00.003-04:00

Summer isn't over... and the beach is calling my name!

As I was sitting outside this morning I could see the leaves are beginning to fall and there is just the fainest hint of fall in the air. It is September second... but I am not ready for fall just yet! I know most people are ready to start wearing jeans and sweaters but I am thankful to have my bags packed for the beach, with little sundresses and swimsuits tucked neatly inside. I'm just not ready for this summer to be over!

Last year I guess I was just ready for summer to be over. It was a long, hard summer. And the fall brought with it hope. Hope for something new, life to be a bit easier. This year I am not sure what the fall will bring with it. I wouldn't mind if it brought along a little hope. But for right now I am thankful that in a few short hours I will be hopping in the car with three wonderful girlfriends and heading east to the beach to enjoy a few last days of summer fun!!

No. 11 & 12

2011-08-31T21:22:00.002-04:00

Since it has been almost two weeks since my last day of thankfulness I am doing two in one today...

Grace and Parents Who Pray for Me.

I'll start with Parents who pray for me. I am blessed to have two parents who love the Lord and have sweet hearts for talking to Him. So not only do my parents love and encourage me but they pray for me. What a gift that is!

And Grace... I'm not sure what more to say but that I'm real thankful for it. One day I think I'll come back to this one and write some more!

No. 10

2011-08-19T10:33:00.003-04:00

I know I can trust the Lord!

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him and he will make your path straight."

With the Lord is love and grace, forgiveness and compassion. He has it all figured out for me, I just have to look to him and submit to him and he'll get me right where I belong. Sometimes it might take longer than I plan, sometimes faster, but always in his perfect timing!

91 days to go...

2011-08-18T21:46:00.001-04:00

I think this 100 days might take longer than I planned...

No. 9

2011-08-18T21:12:00.004-04:00

My Mom!

Today is my mother's birthday and I could not think of a better way to honor her than to say how thankful I am for her.

The question is where to begin... my mom is a pretty amazing woman!

The first thing that always comes to me when I think about Mom is praying. If I ask her to pray about something I know she will be talking to the Lord about it. My whole life I have seen her taking things to the Lord in prayer. You name it, she would pray about. I am so thankful to have grown up seeing my mother pray and through that seen the wonder and power of prayer in my own life. Wow, what a blessing!

What else... we'll the woman knows how to shop! And boy does she love a good bargain. Now, I've seen my mom hunt for deals my whole life but somehow that gift just skipped right past me. But she will come over and bring me some amazing top, shoes, purse, or whatever that I would have spent way too much on and she'll have spent nothing on it, and it is cute! She is so good at that!

Besides being an amazing shopper she is also one of the most generous people I know. If there is something I need or something that I want but can't get it she will do everything in her might to get it for me. And not only that but there are so many times when she has had something cute on or a cool little something or another and if I even mention that I like it the next thing I know she is giving it to me! She is crazy generous!!

She is also an amazing listener. More times than there are stars in the sky have I called her needing to get something off my chest or cry about something or whatever it might be and she just listens to me. Now, she will always give me her opinion on the matter too, but that is okay, she is my mom.

And she is fun to laugh with! I love sharing my joys with my mom! There have been a few times this summer we have giggled like school girls together on the phone. What a blessing to share that with her!

There are so many more things I could say about my mom, but I'll just simply end by saying how very, very thankful I am she is my mother! You are a light and a blessing in my life!! Thank you for being you and helping me be me! I love you Mom!!

No. 8

2011-08-14T23:16:00.004-04:00

... and long over due!

Fresh Flowers and Weddings

This weekend I had the honor and [really] the joy of doing the flowers for my friends Katie and Gabe's wedding. Katie pretty much gave me free reign to do what I wanted with a little direction here and there. But then said just make it beautiful and I knew, or should say hoped, I could do that! It was a pretty big job for being my first real flower gig. I have done my own parties before and been helping a wedding florist this summer with her jobs but never anything like this before!

I started Friday morning by picking up all the flowers from the wholesale shop. I am so thankful to have a great guy there who helped me find everything I needed and stay within my budget! Some how I managed to leave and not spend but $45 more than was given to me. And that was really things that had nothing to do with the cost of the flowers! Praise the Lord for that gift!

Then I headed back home to start working with the most beautiful flowers. Katie wanted a garden themed look so everything in the kitchen looked like it was freshly picked from the yard. Not to mention the flower selection in August is pretty stellar! I was nervous driving all those flowers home, but not one of them was lost in the journey! And my car smelled amazing the whole way home!

It was such a fun day! I was surrounded by some of the things I love the most-- flowers and had some of the people I love the most helping me. (Although they all might say it didn't always look like I was having so much fun, but in spite of my stress level soaring at times it was fun!) I was so lucky to have my Uncle Curt and our family friend Velve in town from NYC to help. Velve is a master with flowers and my uncle is super creative! Along with my mom and even a little help from my dad, Aunt Sharon and Uncle Eric! Everyone pitched in to make the work more manageable.

Everyone loved the flowers on Saturday and I have to admit it was so exciting to have my creations be a part of such a wonderful couple's special day. Thank you Katie and Gabe for letting me share my love and passion for flowers with you on your wedding day! And thank you family for all your help and encouragement in getting it done!!

No. 7 [I love the number seven]

2011-08-08T16:20:00.003-04:00

Unexpected Blessings... AKA Being Sent Home Early From Work

So maybe this is a real stretch, but hey, that is what I am trying to do here: stretch myself in Trusting the Lord and Praising Him always!

The past few day have been painfully slow at work and when it is slow that means someone has to go home. No fun in anyway when you count on those hours as your income. But today it worked out beautifully! I am doing the flowers for a friend's wedding this weekend and must admit that I have been a bit behind [EEK!] in the whole process. And due to my procrastination have been a tad bit stressed out... and rightfully so, the wedding is on Saturday! Anyhow, today I began winging it, because I had the time to do it and just the right amount of procrastination-inflicted stress to get me going!

I got to the flower shop, walked around, talked to the guy who helps me and actually have a game plan! I am so very thankful for days that I can turn lemons into lemonade!!

No. 6

2011-08-04T21:04:00.002-04:00

REI's Amazing Return Policy!

A few weeks ago I stayed with the cutest dog while her family was in Europe... well, for as cute as she was she was also a tad bit naughty. Not bad naughty, just puppy naughty. Anyhow, one day I noticed that my one Chaco was not with the other Chaco and when the lost Chaco was found it suddenly didn't look like its mate. The webbing now had the loving teeth marks of Penny the dog. Needless to say I was pretty bummed about it. I love my Chacos! They have been almost everywhere in the world I've ever been and pretty much like a faithful old friend. But then I remembered, my parents got them for me at REI; REI has pretty much the most amazing return policy ever. I have never personally used it before, but I have heard stories of turning in worn out and broken [well loved] outdoor goods for new ones.

So today I set out to try this amazing return policy for myself. I must admit I was a tiny bit nervous. I didn't know how it worked. Would I be questioned? Would I have the right answers? How in the world are they going to exchange my dog eaten shoes for new ones? Maybe I would just have to get the one shoe repaired and then they would never be the same? I didn't know what to expect. I didn't have a receipt, I had no proof that they were purchased there, I didn't even have the box. But I went right up to the customer service desk and said, a dog ate my Chacos and I heard I can return them. The kind man said sure, no problem. That was it! No questions asked, no rude or judgemental looks. Just a nice, helpful man and a new pair of Chacos for me.

I almost got emotional when he took my Chacos away. I traveled through Israel and Egypt in those shoes. Walked around Italy and Estonia in them too. And planned to have them for ever trip thereafter...

But instead of being sad that they are gone I am so very thankful to have a new pair on the way that will go on my next adventure with me! (and every one thereafter)

No. 5

2011-08-02T21:59:00.003-04:00

Tuesdays with Sadie Grace!

Sadie is a sweet little blessing in my life! For the past ten months we have become fast friends spending almost every Tuesday afternoon and evening together. It has worked out beautifully that I leave work at 2 and head straight over to her house. We play horses and blocks, sing songs, take long walks, read stories, sneak in a little PBS kids and just have plain old fun!

When we started hanging out she was still a baby but now she is turning into such a big girl... she willl be two in December. I love it when she babbles on and on about only she knows what! A few weeks ago, right when she started talking, she didn't stop babbling the whole time I was with her. I think I was giggling the whole time we were together! I caught a few little words here and there, but most of it was a mystery to me. I feel totally sure she knew exactly what she was saying and probably wondered why in the world I wasn't responding to anything she was saying to me!

I am so thankful for this precious girl, she is a special little treasure to me! I cherish our time together and am so grateful for the blessing she is!

No. 4

2011-08-01T23:47:00.004-04:00

Sweet Customers... who come in and manage to brighten up your whole day (even at 6 PM) with their genuine appreciation, sweet stories, and fun laughs. They remind me why I love my job and make it all worthwhile!

No. 3

2011-07-31T21:49:00.007-04:00

Postcards...

best when unexpected and such a sweet surprise!

No. 2

2011-07-30T22:32:00.003-04:00

Saturdays Off

Working retail means Saturday is a working day. I never really thought much about having Saturdays and Sundays off before I started my job at the Paper Affair. It was just the weekend. I guess I was usually thankful when it came around, but I'm not sure I truly appreciated it for all it was worth. Two days off, in a row, every week! Those two days are reserved for fun and sometimes errands... I think I wasted most of my Saturdays and Sundays when I had them every week. Now it amazes me how excited I am when I don't have to go into work on Saturday-and thankfully I almost never work on Sundays.

Today I had an unexpected day off and it was quite a treat! I awoke to no alarm clock, or rushing to get ready and out the door. Instead I sat outside, drank my coffee and read... I cleaned out some drawers in my room... took a nap... and I didn't rush at all!

Even though there are other great days in the week I have off and I am thankful for each and every one of them, I have come to appreciate the worth and gift of Saturdays off more than ever before!

No. 1

2011-07-28T08:37:00.004-04:00

Homemade Peach Pie.

As I was cutting up a peach this morning and thinking about this thankfulness challenge I was about to embark on, wondering how I was going to do it, I thought of my grandmother's homemade peach pie. She usually only makes it once or twice during the summer and boy, oh boy is it delicious! Grandma stopped making homemade pie crust years ago. She says she lost her touch for it when she started getting old. The same thing happened to her mother she always says. So now my mother makes the pie crust for Grandma's pies. I imagine one day my mom may lose the touch and I will take on the roll of crust maker. I've been slowing working on mastering my pie crust making skills. It really is an art and my does my mom have it down!

Grandma still cuts up all the fresh peaches and tenderly molds the crust into the pie dish. My mouth waters at the very thought of the one she made this year for the fourth of July! Usually I can resist dessert but I just can't say no to this treat! I think it is 1) it is delicious and a real treat but 2) I know how much care and work it takes for her to make it. It is truly a masterpiece of summer delightfulness!

I am thankful for homemade peach pie, a grandmother who lovingly creates one every summer, and the blessing of having a grandmother and mother who have taught me the joy of cooking!

A Challenge...

2011-07-28T08:23:00.002-04:00

100 days of Thankfulness!

My mom said to me the other day, when I was complaining about something or another, "I read this blog the other day, by this girl who reminds me of you, about how thankfulness changes everything. Maybe you should try to find things to be thankful for?" SO, in an attempt to practice what I preach [oh that expression!] I am going to spend the next one hundred days celebrating thanksgiving. And I think, I should finish sometime in November...

Nothing Like a Good Old Song!

2011-07-24T19:14:00.001-04:00

Summer Magic

2011-07-15T09:45:00.003-04:00

Last night I was reminded of all the reasons why I just LOVE summer... the days are long, the sun is bright, and there is a little something magical in the air. Not the man-made kind that comes around Christmas. No, this kind can't be bottled up in a room spray or candle. You don't have to buy anything or pull out all your special decorations to feel it. It can only truly be felt by living and enjoying all the joys of summer!

I love to linger in the summer... everything moves at a slower pace in the summer [it is far too hot to rush from place to place] Even the traffic in Atlanta is lighter in the summer months. Plus there is no need to rush because you've got the whole summer to get it done! The best place to linger is always at the beach, soaking up the sun. Nothing is better than the beach! Lazy days, reading good books, eating yummy food and soaking up every square inch of sun that you can possibly take in. Vitamin D is so good for you!

But if you can't linger at the beach all summer long I love to linger with a friend over a delicious meal or in a comfy spot outside. There is little that is sweeter in life than being with a good friend, talking and laughing and summer just seems to add to the experience! And I love to stay up too late in the summer, particularly with a good book or friend.

Everything is just more fun in the summer! When you're a kid summer meant sleeping in, playing outside all day with your friends, or laying on the sofa watching too much TV. Friends got to spend the night any night of the week. And how can I forget no school, or homework!

Even as an adult I enjoy summer just as much. I still have to go to work and pay my bills... but I try with all my heart to not miss the magic that only comes this time of year!

A Secret

2011-07-13T10:12:00.002-04:00

Do you want to know a little secret I have learned?

A thankful heart changes everything! It draws your attention away from all the things that aren't going so swell in your life and helps you keep moving forward with a joyful heart... And eventually you might even find that all the things you thought were so bad are actually little blessings made just for you!

"I will extol the Lord at all times; his praise will always be on my lips. My soul with boast in the Lord; let the afflicted hear and rejoice. Glorify the Lord with me; let us exalt his name together."

Psalm 34: 1-3

... Q&A...

2011-07-12T22:40:00.003-04:00

Where have you been the past four months M.Rau?

I haven't really been anywhere, I just haven't been posting on my blog. I never sit down long enough to get my thoughts out.

What has been happening since your last post?

Goodness... a lot one might assume, almost four months have passed! I am still working at the lovely Paper Affair, selling paper and managing the ladies. Haven't traveled as much as I would like. I guess last year was my year to travel and this is my year to rest. Resting is a blessing! I turned 28, and boy does it feel good to be on an even number again! Had one of the best birthdays ever... The Lord has certainly turned my mourning into dancing and my darkness into light!! [if anyone out there was worried about me, I'm doing excellent, thank you!]

Do you plan to ever write again?

Why yes, yes I do! I just need to force myself to sit down and let my thoughts out through my fingers.

Is there anything you want to say to your five readers out there?

Thanks for hanging with me! I promise to come back and tell a really good story!

ooxx,

M.Rau

Thought and a card for the day!

2011-07-12T22:37:00.001-04:00

Love Lost

2011-03-18T13:32:00.002-04:00

Who would think in losing love one might actually find it?

I must admit I never thought it to be true. How in the world could you find love when your heart is breaking? But I am learning first hand that love can be found, even in the midst of heart-breaking loss.

I'm not sure how to even explain it... I'm still walking through it and sorting it out. But this is what I'm finding: The pain may still be there, the sense of loss remains, but in the midst of all the hurt and tears love finds it way in. It just comes in different ways. It comes through friends loving you, even when you're sad. Through sweet people speaking truth into your heart and life, reminding you of God's love for you. And in a funny way, the loss of love seems to only leave room for more love, not less. I'm seeing a whole new dimension of love in this process. And really I'm not just seeing, I'm feeling it!

"the righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. the Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all." Psalm 34:17-18

A Journey to Love

2011-02-15T10:02:00.004-05:00

I'm not sure who still reads my blog these days. I've been terrible about writing. I miss it in fact.

Love has been on my mind a lot recently. Love gained, love lost. What does it really mean to love someone? What does it look like to love God and in return love others. Why do we love? Really, "what is love?" has been my biggest question.

On my search to find love I've in fact found God. He is love: plain and simple. I wonder how I've missed that all these years? With Him there is nothing greater. Everything He does is a reflection of His great love for me. Love is the measure of all things. It is the beginning and the end. And I'm beginning to see why. God is the beginning and the end of all things. He is love.

I can use the two words interchangeably. Love transforms me. God transforms me. Love moves me. God moves me. Love sustains me. God sustains me. God is the perfect love. He alone is what my heart needs. With Him I can love and be content.

God has been SO faithful to me in my all my searching and questions! This is what He is all about: love. The more I search for love the more I find Him. Isn't that amazing! Isn't that sweet!

I'll end with this passage:

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have the power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God... (Ephesians 3:14-19)

More to come...

Accept

2011-01-04T11:15:00.002-05:00

I am tired, Jesus accepts me.
I am worried, Jesus accepts me.
I am heavy burdened, Jesus accepts me.
I am silly, Jesus accepts me.
I am joyful, Jesus accepts me.
I am sinful, Jesus accepts me...

Whatever you may be feeling or going through remember that Jesus receives you with open arms. He accepts you just the way you come to Him and loves you!

Walk out boldly into the new year knowing Jesus knows right where you are and is right there with you holding you and loving you every step of the way!

"Count Your Blessings Instead of Sheep"

2010-11-26T21:43:00.002-05:00

...Maybe you've heard that expression before... It is a good one for sure!

I was reminded of it yesterday [and boy did I need it!] I'd like to say the sheer fact of it being Thanksgiving brought my focus to thankfulness and blessings but I'd be lying if I did. I've been trying to muster up some thankfulness in my heart for the past week or so. Frankly, it's been hard. I know I have much to be thankful for, but pain and worry seemed to be the thoughts that radiated in my mind and permeated my heart.

So yesterday, after lunch and a long rest my grandma and I decided to watch White Christmas, to help get us in the Christmas spirit. And as surely as he does every year, Bing Crosby sang this little song:
When I'm worried and I can't sleep
I count my blessings instead of sheep
And I fall asleep counting my blessings
When my bankroll is getting small
I think of when I had none at all
And I fall asleep counting my blessings.

Which reminded me to count my blessings... instead of worrying. Which I know will turn my pain and worries into a thankful joyous song!

He Was HERE!

2010-10-13T22:25:00.006-04:00

Hi friends!

I thought for sure I updated y'all at least once in September, but alas I didn't! I am so sorry to deprive you of all my random ramblings and thoughts. I feel assured someone out there is missing me... haha!

September was a busy month! [and GOOD!!]

I started a new job. One that totally fell in my lap and has been so much fun! I started the day after Labor day. The Lord is so gracious to always meet my needs. And never a day too early or too late! Oh, are you wondering where... Paper Affair. It is the most perfect fit; I work with great ladies, in a pretty shop and I get to sell one of the best things in the world: paper!

[I love it, can you tell?!]

Later in the month a (very special) certain someone traveled 15+ hours by plane to visit the great city of Atlanta. Oh, and hang out with me, meet all my friends, get to know my family and just have some good old fashion southern fun! And southern fun we had!

I am happy to report not only does he love me, but he loves Atlanta too!

I did my best to show him the real Atlanta... the good life. There is no where so great in all the world as Atlanta, at least not to call home. After calling Atlanta home for twenty-seven years I guess it has found it's way into my heart. And I was glad in only three weeks it seemed to find it's way into Stefan's heart too!

Stefan also got to experience another town that holds a very special place in my heart... Auburn! It was his first college football game. I was glad he got to see the very best for his first!

My parents treated us to a wonderful day on the plains!! I don't think any of us could have asked for a more perfect day!

WAR EAGLE!

I really should update more than once a month...

2010-08-17T17:45:00.008-04:00

Hello Friends Who Still Follow My Blog!

In LESS than ONE month this man (my handsome boyfriend, Stefan)

will be coming to visit me!

I am looking forward to:

Seeing him face to face, not just computer screen to computer screen (althought we are SO thankful for Skype); Introducing him to all my sweet friends who have listened to me go on and on about us, have prayed for us and have loved me always; Taking him to all my favorite spots around town; Going on real live dates; The list could go on and on...

Pretty much I can't wait!

No Formula with God

2010-07-26T17:47:00.002-04:00

I've been thinking about this a lot recently, formulas...

and grace.

The thoughts on formula came from a discussion we had in Bible study two weeks ago. We were talking about sexual purity and marriage. Somewhere in the conversation this [false] idea came up that if I am content in the Lord, fully satisfied in Him, and walking closely with Him He will bless me with a husband. WHOA sister! Where did this idea come from? God does not bless us because we are good. He blesses us because He is good and full of grace.

Some days I wish there was this formula (you know, A+B=C) we could follow as Christians to get what we want or to get where we want to be. But that is not what it means to follow Jesus. The only formula that I know is to listen for His voice and follow it, whatever He may call you to do. His grace will carry you through and His love will hold you up as you walk along the road He has marked for you.

I've Got the Urge to Say Something but Got Nothing Much to Say

2010-06-03T13:40:00.014-04:00

[I'm laughing now because for not having much to say that is a rather wordy title]

Life is interesting these days.

I was [notice the past tense] working at the Capitol for two great men, Senator John Bulloch from south west GA and Senator Ralph Hudgens from the Athens area. It was a good experience. Much different than my last experience down there. Not better per say, not worse either, just different. That fun ended on May 5th, I packed my bags and headed to South Africa on May 7th to spend two weeks and two days visiting the man who has captured my heart. What a sweet time it was to have together! Seeing where he is from, meeting his friends and family, exploring the country, having fun, laughing together... we were very blessed in our time together!

I arrived back in the states on May 24th very tired and still recovering from being sick. [oh yes folks, I was sick for five days during my visit!] Eleven days have now passed since then and I'm not quite sure what to do with myself. I know I need to get out there and find a J-O-B. But summer is tempting me with her bright sunshine and carefree spirit to put that off as long as I can...

In 15 days I turn 27...

That is about all I got. Not much after months of blog silence. So I'll end with a few nice pics from my trip!

Me and Stefan in Kruger National Park

At his parent's house

Fun on the farm feeding his brother's little lambs!

The Day in-between

2010-04-03T12:48:00.007-04:00

I was laying in bed this morning wondering how the disciples must have felt and what they must have been thinking as they woke up (if they were even able to find sleep) the day after Jesus was put into the grave. I am sure there was great sorrow among them. And an even greater feeling of defeat-- the man they put all their hope in and believed to be their savior was dead and in the grave.

They didn't know in His death He actually won victory over death. I can't even imagine how they must have felt that day... I know the story doesn't end on day two. I can't imagine not knowing the end of the story! Waking up on that day in-between not knowing all the pain and suffering Jesus endured would actually set me. Free from all guilt and shame; freedom from the bondage of sin!

What was seen to them was the death of a man they loved, respected, and put their hope in. Paul had not yet written the words "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what i unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." (2 Corinthians 4:18) for them to find comfort in.

I wonder if they were discussing the words they knew by heart He had spoken to them trying to put the pieces of what had happened together? I wonder if they were so sad they did nothing but weep and morn. I hope there was at least one among them who spoke truth to the others: there must be hope... the story must not be over. But I don't know? Scripture doesn't tell us. I have to believe the Lord sustained them and comforted them on that day in-between.

What a great surprise it must have been for those men and women to see Jesus that next day! They had not lost all hope on the day in-between. Hope had been given to them through the death and rising of their Lord Jesus Christ!

Today we have the words of Paul to remind us to fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen... and we know the end of the story: Jesus is alive and has conquered the grave and brought us life!

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you. It is written: 'I believed; therefore I have spoken.' With that same spirit of faith we also believe and therefore speak, because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you in his presence. All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God. Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving or us eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

2 Corinthians 4:7-18

The Lost Art of Letter Writing

2010-03-12T10:01:00.002-05:00

I've always loved letters.

It is funny how much a thing of the past they have become. I wonder if kids are even taught how to write a letter in school anymore [hmm... I will be sure to teach any children in my life this art] I bet people think of letters as a thing of Jane Austen's time, not today. Today we have email, facebook, twitter, word documents even. They are instant and fast. We can get our words to the other person quickly. Why would anyone ever take the time to sit down and write a note by hand?

Let me tell you why you should sit down and write a letter to someone you love:

Letters are lovely
Letters are words into a person's heart
Letters are thoughtful and kind
Letters have a way of unlocking your soul.

[Warning, this next part may be a bit of a NEWS FLASH to some of you]

Last night I came home from a long day of work to find an envelope waiting for me. It wasn't a bill or party invitation-- it was a letter from South Africa! I have been dating the sweetest boy who lives in South Africa for the past four months. I was not expecting anything from him so this was the most wonderful surprise. He is very thoughtful! And has the most beautiful way with words. I crawled into bed and opened the letter. Dried rose petals fell out as I pulled out the paper... I was transported into a world where Stefan and I don't live thousands of miles away, a place where we are close in heart and spirit. It is a precious gift!

Reading a letter is so much different than reading an email. Seeing the person's hand writing, knowing they touched that piece of paper. You can hold it in your hand, it is almost as if the person were there in the room with you. Emails don't have that power or grace. We use them for work as much as we use them for pleasure. They are pretty standard. Times New Roman Font, in black on a white background. We all use them and honestly, I love email too-- but there is nothing so charming nor so lovely as a hand writen note. Even between two friends letters are wonderful. I have a friend who lives less than 15 miles away and we still send letters to each other.

Call me a hopeless romantic, but I think letters are charming and kind, warm and endearing, and just about the sweetest gift you can give. And for me the sweetest gift Stefan can give me are his words.

Wonder

2010-01-31T11:47:00.002-05:00

Do you wonder what I've been up to for the past month? I do too...

Honestly, January has flown by faster than any other month I can remember. Here is what I can remember:

I started a new job on the 6th. I'm back at the State Capitol if you can believe it-- some days I sure can't. I'm working as an aide again, only I'm working for two different senators. It has been interesting so far...

I've been going to bed waaaay too early for a twenty-six-year-old, single girl. Most nights I try to get into my bed before 10pm. And if I get in there much past 10:30, I'm pretty grumpy, I mean sleepy...

I traveled to visit my sweet friends the Griggs in Greenville last weekend. It was wonderful to get out of town and spend some great time with them. They have two of the sweetest, cutest little girls in the whole world. Since I have no nieces or nephews of my own I sure am blessed to have them in my life.

Really, that is about all I can remember. I feel like I've fallen off the face of the planet and honestly I probably have a bit. I never thought going back to work would be so hard after not working for three months. Slowly I'm getting used to the schedule and honestly I'm enjoying going to work every day (I haven't done that since the last time I worked at the Capitol as an aide).

Tomorrow starts a new month and I am going to try to be more faithful to write more.

Hope, Snow, Love, and an Update

2010-01-07T14:27:00.012-05:00

Happy New Year friends!

I know, I know we are already seven days into 2010, but all things considered it is still relatively new. And it is still happy! I can't remember being as excited about a new year as I am about this one. I'm not sure what all is in store for the year, but I know that God is good and only wants the best for me so I'm excited to see all He has for me...

"You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and the hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands."

Isaiah 55:12

I am siting in my office at home watching the snow flakes fall outside as I type. My heart is warm despite the cold outside. I just love the snow! Every time it falls from the sky I am reminded of God's sweet love for me. It is a visible reminder of something that can seem so intangible at times.

"Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the Lord who has compassion on you.

Isaiah 54:10

I realize if you read my blog for updates on my life and not just to read my random ramblings you might be wondering how the "big test" went and if I have my results yet. So, let me tell you! The day had finally arrived and let's just say I could have been a bit more prepared. I took the test at Herzing College in Buckhead, which I didn't know existed until a few months ago when I registered for the test. It was very strange to arrive at Lenox Square Mall at 8am on a Saturday morning to take such an important test (the school is located in Lenox). I hadn't studied like I should have, but I felt pretty peaceful as I sat down to take the test.

Oh boy was it hard!

I left the test that day knowing I had been obedient to take the test and glad to have finally taken it. I honestly didn't expect to receive some amazingly high score, but I also knew it was totally in the Lord's hands. If He wanted me to go to law school He would make it clear to me that was what I was supposed to do and if I wasn't supposed to He would make that just as clear.

On the 28th of December I was surprised to receive my score early. [I was expecting it on the 4th of January] It was low. Very low. Too low to even consider applying to any law programs. At first I was sad, and my pride was very hurt. I thought surely I was smart enough to just walk into the test center [to take one of the hardest tests out there] and do okay. But then as I spoke to some friends and my parents about it and I realized I got my answer.

It was just a clear "no."

So, I won't be attending law school this fall. And I am okay with that. I'm not sure what I'll be doing this fall or even this spring for that matter. But I am learning to be okay with that.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your path straight."

Proverbs 3:5-6

I've taken a job as a senate aide at the state capitol for the 2010 legislative session. I'll probably be there until April. After that I don't know where God will call me. But I'm going to keep my ears and my heart open to whatever he might call me to do. And for now I have a job and I am very thankful for that!

PS

2010-01-04T15:50:00.001-05:00

I'm not sure what I'm going to do with myself now...

Farewell Facebook, Hello Freetime!

2010-01-04T15:23:00.002-05:00

Resolution #1 for 2010: deactivate facebook account.

I am sorry to see you go, but alas we must part. You have taken up too much of my free time and kept me from really knowing how my "friends" are doing. I get on and waste hours away looking at pictures, "checking up" on people, etc. etc. In essence, I use you for all the wrong reasons. You lead me to gossip, and think things about people, when I really have no idea what is happening with them-- I simply assume things based upon what I read and what I see.

No MORE!

I will admit you are not always bad. We have had some good times. You have help me reconnect with old friends, stay in touch with people I might have lost touch with, and because of you one certain person might have had a much harder time finding me (those of you who know what I'm talking about know how thankful I was for facebook that day!)... and for that I say thank you.

But we are through. I have given you up twice before, but this time it is for real. No more coming back in a few months, or sneaking on to see if so and so is engaged or had their baby yet.

This year I will truly check up on my friends. I will pick up the phone and call or email. I will send notes and letters. I will print out pictures for friends and share good news in person.

Good-bye my old friend. We have been friends for a long while now. Life will not be the same without you, but I do think we will both go on [and I for one will not look back]

Parting is such sweet sorrow.

One Day to Go

2009-12-03T23:54:00.002-05:00

I can't believe in one day I'll be taking "the test." I think I will breath a giant sigh of relief when I turn in my test booklet and walk out those doors on Saturday afternoon. This has been years in the making and Lord only knows why it has taken me so long to do it. I feel like I may finally know what lies ahead for me when my score comes in on January 3rd, or 4th, whatever day it is. Regardless of my score, it will feel like a victory to know I've finally done it. I'm facing my fears and trusting the Lord!

Missing the Comforts of "home"

2009-12-02T13:49:00.004-05:00

Auburn. I spent four wonderful years there. I loved it there. When I would return after visiting my parents I often refered to it as "home." I'm not sure my parent's were thrilled by that statement, but it was the truth. Auburn had become home to me. I had traditions, friends, familiar places. It was cozy and comfortable. I loved it there.

This week, as I've been trying to study for "the test" I've been craving the comforts of Auburn. Fall semester finals were one of my favorite times back then. I would just be back from Thanksgiving vacation, happy and full. That little, one week break gave me all the rest I needed to make it through the next two or three weeks [no matter how tough they would be]. We would put our little Christmas tree up and decorate the house. On dead days we'd have all our friends over for a study break party. The weather would be getting colder, I would always cuddle with my favorite blanket while studying on my bed. And while I was studying I would always listen to the Nutcracker Suite. Nothing made me happier. It was cozy. It felt like home.

Now, as I attempt to prepare for this looming test I am missing all those comforts. The places we would always go to eat for study breaks. The comradely of my roommates and friends cramming too. Knowing as soon as it was all down I'd get to pack up and head home to my parents, ready for Christmas.

Today, I long for these comforts. I went to get Chinese takeout but it really wasn't the same...

25 days and counting...

2009-11-11T12:19:00.006-05:00

This is a picture of the Boston Public Library. People actually studied in there! I took this to inspire me...

On December 5th I will finally be doing something I have put off for almost 6 years: taking the LSAT. SO, for the next twenty-five days my head needs to be buried in the books, learning all I can so I can master this test! I've put it off for this long I should try at least to put a little effort into it [needless to say I haven't really put a lot of effort into it thus far]

If for the next four weeks or so I am a little bit MIA please forgive me and know there is light at the end of this tunnel... whatever that score may read... I will have finally done it!

I hope on December 6th someone will throw me a party for doing something I probably should have done years ago-- haha :-)

Life is Full because of Friends, For Sure!

2009-11-10T14:46:00.020-05:00

Life has it's ups and down, that's for sure. But what is even more for sure is those ups and downs are so much easier when you are surrounded by amazing friends!

I have realized this more and more as life has become more and more challenging/ confusing/ complicated... the hard times in life are so much easier and the good times are so much sweeter when you can share them with friends.

Lord knows the past two years have been up and down for me... but my friends have been there, walking alongside me. Listening to me, laughing at me, crying with me, speaking the truth over me and loving me with the love of Christ.

Below is just a few of the people who mean so much to me! I love you each so much and want you to know how much you mean to me. Good times and not such fun times you've been beside me, I am forever thankful for your friendships!

The Agees, Sam and Tricia

My 25th birthday surprise party

Blair and Melinda at my 26th birthday party

Alex, Laura and Kelli

Friends at the Lights at Lake Lanier

The Grooms, Jon and Cassady

Kristy Masterson-- I love YOU

Nate, Alex and Martin

Gabe and Liz

Kathryn, Lisa and Melinda

Vanessa and her little girl Michaela

Jeanne and Kelli

I must confess.

2009-10-30T10:06:00.004-04:00

Most days I log into my blog with the best of intentions. I plan to write something, honestly I do. But then I end up looking at everyone else's blogs for so long that I lose all interest and abort my original intention of writing a blog myself. It is partly due to the fact that I get easily distracted. And partly due to the fact that I'm never quite sure what to say.

October feels like a world-wind of a month. I'm not really sure how it has flown by so quickly! I have been pretty busy this month and it seems like I've been out of town more than I have been in town. I'm not sure if this has ever happened in my life before but I have been out of town every weekend this month, with the exception of this weekend, which some might call the first weekend in November anyhow. The first two weekends were spend in Tennessee. This was totally not on purpose. The third weekend was spend in NYC with my uncle, freezing my tail off. And last weekend I was in Boston visiting a friend and exploring the city [also freezing my tail off!] It has been a fun month...

but I fear November must be a serious month. For in less than 6 weeks I will be taking a test I have put off taking for more than 6 year: the LSAT. (dum, dum, dum) Actually, I am getting pretty excited about it. But I since I would really like to do well on this entrance exam I must study!

So, if you are my friend, and you feel the urge, ask me how my studying is going and remind me to stop reading your blog and start studying! :-)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!

2009-10-22T13:17:00.003-04:00

DAD,

Today you'd like to think you're turning 26, but now I'm 26 and you're turning 51. Time sure flies when you're having fun and raising a crazy daughter like me.

You always have an update or score for the latest football game, baseball game, golf tournament, or tennis match. You've always been full of life and knowledge. You've taught me to love the Lord and love others, which is a priceless gift (THANK YOU!)

I'm glad you're my dad! Happy Birthday!!

I love you!

Here We Go Again...

2009-10-13T16:10:00.002-04:00

Last time I found myself without a job I promised myself I would start writing. I'm not sure what I wanted to write, but I failed in writing anything. In fact, I never even updated my blog last summer. I stayed "busy" last time around. And by busy I mean hanging out with friends, traveling, and working on my tan. Sure, I interviewed for a few jobs, three to be exact. But all three of my interviews were in the same week. [the first week I was without a job] I was really thrilled to have a summer vacation. It was an answer to prayer I never thought I would see fulfilled.

This time around I actually have things to do...
I have signed up to take the LSAT in December [oh my word, what was I thinking?!] I've been helping my grandparents out. I'm helping some friends with an addition to their house. And I am sure other things will pop up here and there where I can help out or work on something until I find my next "real job."

And this time maybe I'll be true to my word and write!

MIA, NO More

2009-10-08T12:16:00.004-04:00

I have been MIA recently. I realize this. It is probably safe to say I have been just as MIA in life as I have been on this blog. Life has felt a bit like an uphill hike for the past few months. Now it is October and I feel like I am finally reaching the final uphill stretch. [praise the LORD!]

A lot has happened since my last [fru-fru] post. Work had been super stressful. Friendships were changing. My family had all these mini-traumas. And I was just trying to keep my head on straight and be where I needed to be, when I needed to be there.

But I in the midst madness I was finally starting to listen to the Lord about some things I had been running from listening to Him about. And in the process I see a lot changing...

Today, I have no more work stress-- I have no work. [october 1st was my last day with Robin] The friendships changed, but I'm so thankful for other friendships that haven't. My family is actually closer and more caring than ever before. And I am not having such a difficult time keeping my head on straight. In fact, I am feeling more peaceful and relaxed than ever before! [and I'm without a job-- the AMAZING grace of God!]

Maybe I'll start writing again, now that I can hear my own thoughts again!

Oh SO Happy!

2009-08-12T13:02:00.005-04:00

A few photos from my favorite photo shoot!

Back in November, Robin and I set out to turn this charming kitchen (Robin designed back in 2008) into a dreamy space. Little did we know it would also win the ASID Bronze metal for Kitchen of the year. We are both so proud of it!

I have to admit, I often gaze at these pictures and wish I could live here. And I think we were sucessful in creating a little piece of heaven.

Sovereignty.

2009-08-09T16:22:00.003-04:00

[don't be scared this isn't going to be some deep theological discussion... it's me folks]

Ever do something and then wonder, stress-out, lose sleep, etc. etc. if you just totally blew any change you ever had at getting what you hoped for?

If SO, repeat after me: "I cannot mess up the will of God in my life. I cannot mess up the will of God in my life. I cannot mess up the will of God in my life."

Now breath deeply and relax. God is sitting on the throne and He is still in control. God is sovereign. And He is good and loving, kind and compassionate, and wants the best for His children!

I looked Sovereignty up on Merriam-Webster and found this: "freedom from external control." How encouraging is that-- the Lord's will is free from any external control folks... walk in that freedom and follow after Him... and you'll be fine!

Funny things to say

2009-08-02T23:45:00.002-04:00

When I get upset I try my darnest not to curse...at times I am more successful then at others. I blame my natural tendency to curse on my German heritage, but as a Christan I find that really doesn't cut it. I'm not always so good at holding them in, but I have been trying...

My friends always seem to get a kick out of the little expressions I use to replace curse words so I thought I would share a few, just in case you are trying to kick the habit.

"Holy Smokes"-- I generally use this when I am really excited or surprised by something.

"Holy Moly"-- when I tire of saying "Holy Smokes" I say "Holy Moly," also depends on the crowd.

"Geeze and Crackers"-- not sure when I use this one, but I use it a lot.

"Jimmie Christmas"-- trying not to take the Lord's name in vain folks!

"Shut the front door"-- when something is really shocking to me and I can't believe it I say this.

Random Ramblings

2009-07-27T12:57:00.002-04:00

Today is Monday, it's about one o'clock in the afternoon and I haven't really done anything with my day.

[but don't worry, I'm not sitting at work doing nothing... I have Mondays off]

I usually wake up whenever the spirit moves me, make a pot of coffee and sit in front of the computer trying to get things done I don't get done the other six days of the week... you know reply to emails I should have responded to weeks ago, pay bills, etc. etc. Today is no different. Although, it probably should be different. My first day back at work after being gone on vacation I found out my hours were going to be cut back. This honestly wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if I worked a normal forty hour week, but since I only work Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays it felt like the worst news ever.

The first week I think I was in shock and probably still a bit jetlag. [I am so slow in recovering from traveling abroad] Last week I was just mad. And this week I am at a loss. I know I should probably be pouring over job sites looking for something, but honestly I have no idea what to look for. Sure, I've been doing interior design work for the longest and have the most experience with it. But from what I've heard firms are laying people off, not looking for new help. I know I don't want to go back into politics. That is one door I often thank the Lord for closing.

So what do I do next?

I wonder when things like this happen if it isn't God's way of giving us a little kick in the pants to move us onto the next thing. I'm not sure what the next thing is for me, but I am knocking on the Lord's door asking Him to show me. I don't want to go out there looking aimlessly-- I hate spinning my wheels aimlessly. It is me and the Lord in this and I'm going to stay put until He gives me some kind of direction... I just wonder where it will lead...

Estonia

2009-07-13T11:02:00.020-04:00

My aunt and I just arrived home from a lovely vacation in Estonia. We had a great time exploring new places... and experiencing the cultural wonders of Estonia.

We had plenty of time to tour around as it never gets dark there in the summer. The pace of life is very slow and layed back.

The people are interesting and the language is difficult--I came home with one word: "Aitih" [thank you]. Often times I felt like I had stepped back in time.

It is a beautiful place... take a peek!

"Old Town"

Tallinn, Estonia

We climbed the tower of St. Olav’s Church

It was the tallest building in Europe in the 1500 and 1600s

View of the Baltic Sea from St. Olav's Church

View of "Old Town" from St. Olav's tower.
The town is one of the most colorful places I have ever seen.

One of the many towers that makes up the old wall that surrounds "Old Town"

The 25th Song Celebration.
While we were in Tallinn over 300,000 people gathered together to celebrate Estonia's freedom on the Song Celebration Grounds.

What an impressive site to behold!

Peonies are one of my favorite flower and in Estonia they were everywhere and just stunning!

I wish I could have bottled up the smell.

Happy Day!

2009-06-20T11:15:00.010-04:00

Thank you to everyone who made my 26th birthday so special and fun!

Dinner at TAP with girlfriends...

fun presents!

Cute (albeit much younger) waiters.

Good friends and fun times at Six Feet Under...

and nothing like a cupcake toast to make the night perfect!

From 25 to 26

2009-06-17T22:21:00.004-04:00

Tomorrow I turn 26 [long deep breaths]. I'm not really sure what to think about turning 26... I guess it really is just an arbitrary number, 26. It is an even number, which is nice and round, but the even numbers always seem less exciting to me [don't ask me why, it is just the way my mind works I guess]. Last year I couldn't wait to turn 25. When I was about to turn 25 I was excited, I'm not sure why I was so excited, but I was super excited! Right now I am excited to have a birthday. Birthdays are fun. But 26, I just don't know what to think...

I think there was something more climatic about turning 25... at least in my mind. I had decided 25 was a big deal. I'm not sure why, I honestly can't remember what I was thinking a year ago [oh my memory is already going... where was I?] I know it is a major "mile-marker" in everyone's life, but maybe I felt like I would finally feel like an adult at 25. Or my life was all the sudden going to make sense.

I'm not sure.

I can say if I thought my life was all the sudden going to make sense just because I was 25, man was I wrong. It probably makes less sense now then it did a year ago. I think life actually gets more complicated as you get older, not less. I wish I could elaborate on this thought more, but I still haven't figured it out... life is just a mystery. And there is really only one person who can guide you through: Jesus.

It is exciting to think that you can traipse through life's mysteries and never get lost when you're walking with the Lord! You can actually sit back, relax and let him lead the way.

So, while 26 may seem like a bit of a mystery to me, since I'm walking with a man who knows the way I think I'll be okay!

We'll All Float on... Lake Grandview.

2009-06-15T15:01:00.011-04:00

Nothing satisfies this summer soul like a weekend away at the lake with good friends! Especially when that lake is Grandview in North Georgia...

And the Lord knew I needed a weekend away from the real world, surrounded by wonderful friends to clear my head and be revived. My sweet friend Laura so kindly invited me and 16 (or so) of our closest friends to her parent's lake house this weekend.

At Lake Grandview there is always one thing on the agenda: fun times!

This weekend was no exception.

Floating in the lake all day; long talks on the porch; late night swims; lots of laughs...

life is good when good friends are there.

Find the Silver Lining

2009-06-09T11:39:00.002-04:00

Nobody ever claimed this life would be easy. [and if they do, ask them what they're smoking...] Nor that we would have all the answers or even figure out half the things we try to figure out. But life can be good. We can have joy and hope. Not in ourselves, nope, but in JESUS!

My sweet dad called me this morning and shared this quote from Dudley Hall [I think that is his name?] with me, "Contentment in weakness is confidence in grace."

Man, I have been feeling weak the past few days. But I can't say I've been feeling very content in it. In fact, I've been fighting the weakness trying to get it to go away... hoping I might feel whole again. My thoughts have been "get over it", "move on", certainly not "be content in it". Being content in your weakness means you've given up, but truly God's grace is right there when we are weak. He is waiting to save us from our misery. His grace is mighty, which is way better than my weakness.

Jill Phillips has a song called Turn it Around. It has been oil to my dry bones recently...

Everyone said its not a matter of if but when; Just keep believing; One day you'll feel sane again; In the waiting; somehow you gave my broken heart a way to mend.

The silver lining’s been a long time coming; Finally see the sun shining through the clouds; Shouldn’t be surprising that you could take something;Upside down; And turn it around

Patience is a virtue I don’t always have; But the truth is; You know what I need long before I ever ask

You brought me through; The darkest days to; The silver lining

Comfort

2009-06-08T23:12:00.002-04:00

"The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

Psalms 34:17-18

I was at lunch with a friend today and as we were talking about some stuff going on in my life [thank heaven for sweet friends who lift you up when you're down!] when this idea hit me: sometimes I think I ask the Lord to comfort me but really all I want is for Him to put me somewhere more comfortable. And when I do that I miss out on really allowing the Lord to comfort me, right where I am.

Not only do I miss out on the Lord's great comfort, but I miss out on all the other good that comes from our sufferings. Because being comfortable is way better than wading through the depths of pain and sorrow, right? But in the end what does being comfortable do for us? It doesn't press us closer to the Lord. It certainly doesn't cause us to reach out to the Lord. And it really doesn't help us grow in love and compassion toward the Lord or toward others. There is a verse in 2nd Corinthians that has always stuck with me... "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." (1:3)

Not only do my sorrows draw me closer to the Lord and allow me to see more of His character, but they allow me to draw comfort so that I may comfort others. The Lord is good to us! He uses all things for our good and His glory, of that I am sure.

Question?

2009-06-05T12:15:00.002-04:00

Have you ever asked a question and as soon as it comes out of your mouth you know the answer? Only you really hope your friend won't tell you what you already know... even though chances are they're going to tell you the truth...

[at least I hope so, since they are your friend]

Last night I asked my friend: "why is life so complicated?" and he responded with, "life is as complicated as you make it. All you need is to love God and be loved by him."

Well, well... isn't that the simple truth.

I knew he was right because I thought to myself as soon as I asked it, "life is only complicated because I make it complicated." But I needed to hear someone else say it.

I'm a words person... I know this will surprise very few people. I can think something over and over again and do nothing with it, but when it comes out of my head all the sudden it clicks. It is like I can finally get a hold of it rather than letting it have a hold on me.

Recently I have felt devoid of words. That is probably why I have been MIA on here. I couldn't exactly say why I have felt so wordless, but I am praying they will come back to me.

[I'm hopeful they will!]

Turning 21... Oh, So Much Fun!!

2009-04-06T13:20:00.007-04:00

Kristen,

Today you turn 21.

You want to remember this day and not drink it away...

So have fun and rejoice!

You are precious, dear friend.

I love you!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KRISTEN!!

ps... that is the face I will give you if you don't behave :-)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIZ!!

2009-04-05T22:42:00.010-04:00

Today, my dear friend Liz turned 26!

We have been friends for a long time...

she says we have been friends since 4th grade--I always say it was 2nd.

We played basketball together; we played Barbies together!

We laugh and giggle together

and remember all the fun times we've shared together!

I have more memories with her than without her!

She is one the best friends I have ever had!

Life just wouldn't be the same without you in it Liz!

You love the Lord and in return love me more than I deserve.

"The Lord has done great things for us and we are filled with joy" Psalm 126:3

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELIZABETH!!!

I can't wait to see what the next twenty years look like...

LOVE YOU!

Moral of the Story

2009-04-03T16:42:00.003-04:00

Dear Friends,

If you have big news to tell a friend do not tell them on APRIL FOOL's DAY! No one will never believe you. You are better off saving it for another day... like March 31st or April 2nd.

I found out my friend from college really is pregnant! My bff texted me on April 2nd and said "she is pregnant" I must admit I still had a little doubt...

I wish I had something deeper to draw from this example, oh well, I don't :-)

April Fool's

2009-04-01T22:58:00.005-04:00

Well, today was the 1st of April and that means some sort of joke or prank was probably pulled on you, or better yet, you pulled a fast one on a friend or even a loved one... and this is how we say "I love you?"

I had one pulled on me. [I think?] One of my best friends from college called me this afternoon while I was in a meeting. So I called her back to see what was up-- and I hadn't called her back since she called me last week, oops! Anyhow, she says, "well, I was going to tell you I am engaged, but the moment passed when you didn't answer so... our other friend (who shall remain nameless since I don't know who reads this and I don't know that she is telling anyone) is pregnant!" I believed her for a long while. Then it hit me, she said our friend told her last week so she knew about this for a whole week and decided only to tell me about it today! It's April Fool's, she is just pulling my leg. I proceed to ask her over and over again, "are you lying?" To which she kept responding "NO."

We have now talked three times this evening and every time I ask her, "are you telling me the truth?" she responds [adamantly], "YES!" She is calling me first thing tomorrow morning to let me know once and for all if this very exciting news is really news at all.

PS: if you read my status on the facebook today "Melissa Rau is in love... life is good." Thank you to all of you who were so excited for me, but I'm afraid I was pulling a little April Fool's joke on you. I really did feel loved and life is good!
...and hopefully one day I will be able to genuinely say "I'm in love", but not today (or tomorrow)

Trusting

2009-03-31T18:15:00.004-04:00

Would you put your life into the hands of someone you really don't know all that well? I have. But, thankfully, He knows me really well.

I was thinking about my relationship with the Lord and how much I want to trust Him with every area of my life and all the sudden it hit me: for my trust in Him to increase my knowledge of Him must also increase.

[now, I am sure there is a passage in scripture that says something like this and most likely I have read it before and that is why I had this thought...but I am thankful, none the less, for the sweet whisper of the Holy Spirit to remind me of it]

I can give up striving to trust Him more and simply spend time getting to know Him more. What a treat!! I don't have to conjure up trust or work really hard-- I just have to hang out.

I am so excited... I love hanging out... and hanging out with the master and creator of this world is a pretty cool opportunity to have!

Life is like a Brownie Sundae

2009-03-20T09:05:00.006-04:00

Okay folks, I know this sounds a bit wacky, but stay with me! I think you'll enjoy the illustration.

[And wasn't it Forest Gump who said, "life is like a box of chocolates." ]

I was going out with this guy a few months ago and I have to say it was one of the most fun relationships I have ever had. Nothing too complicated to work through, nothing too serious about our time together... it was just clean fun. SO, I was at church one Sunday morning (while in above relationship) and while we were singing song "Blessed be Your Name" I realized my life is really good. [some of you are assuming I am thinking this because I am in said relationship, but you know what they say about assuming...]

Then I had this image of a brownie sundae pop in my head. [Strange, right?]

As I started to think about it I realized this is a really good illustration for life-- if you're willing to stretch your imagination just a bit.

The Brownie on the bottom is the foundation of the sundae. It is what makes the brownie sundae different from other sundaes. For me Christ is my foundation and He is what makes my life different from other's. Without Him I would just be a boring old ice cream sundae and really what is the fun in that?

The ice cream is my life. It is my community, my family and my friends. It is good. I don't need it, but it sure makes the brownie taste even sweeter.

Then there is the whipped cream--Yummy! I like to think of this as the fun stuff in life. Trips, special occasions, new adventures... Sometimes you get a lot and sometimes you get a little but no matter how much you get you enjoy it. It too makes the brownie taste even sweeter.

Lastly, there is the cherry (and/or the sprinkles on top). A brownie sundae would still be considered a brownie sundae without these two things, but they are a fun addition! A brownie sundae is no less sweet without it. But it is a special treat to have that cherry on top. For me relationships are like the cherry on top. They're a special treat, but life is no less sweet without them.

So what I realized that day is life is good because God is my solid foundation. All the other things can melt away but He stands firm forever. "Taste and see that the Lord is good!"

"Both the Builder and the Wrecking Ball"

2009-03-16T11:11:00.020-04:00

When I first started working I drove past this little church everyday. They always had encouraging little quotes or sayings on their sign. This particular one caught my attention more than others (and has stuck with me ever since).

"Allow God to renovate your life"

-the sign outside the New Hope AME Church

At the time I was working on a huge home renovation project. It was my first job out of college and I really didn't know anything about renovating a house. I was a fish out of water, but I was determined to learn everything I could and do a good job. Thankfully, I worked in the office of a fabulous designer who led me through some uncharted territory and taught me everything I needed to know.

Today that sign means more to me.

For the past nine months I have been working on another huge renovation. Only this one isn't a multi-million dollar home renovation, it is a life renovation-- my life.

At first I was a bit resistant to the change. In fact, I would say for the first few months there really wasn't much work being done, at least none that I could see. It was more like the planning and permitting stage. With any good renovation you have to make plans and once they are set you go get the permits. Then the demolition begins.

Demolition felt like the longest part of this process. The Lord ripped out so many of my misconceptions about who He is and who I am in Him. He tore down walls I had built to protect myself and walls I put up to keep feelings at bay. This part is hard and often painful.

"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain."

--Kahil Gibran

Demolition left me feeling empty and broken. I wasn't sure there was anything left of Melissa Rau to salvage and if there was I wasn't sure I would make. But the Lord was my support and my strength. I kept reminding myself: "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Jesus Christ." (Philippians 1:6)

Sometimes [truthfully, always] renovations take longer then the homeowner anticipates. So you have to learn to wait. [I'm learning, slowly but I'm learning] But it so exciting when the new stuff starts going in and the plans begin to take shape right before your very own eyes! Truth is put into place and Love abounds. Joy and Peace and Patiences begin to be more than just a dream. Faith is something you have not just something you want.

I didn't set out nine months ago to start this renovation project. I really just thought the Lord was teaching me some new things and sending me in a new direction. But today I see it as so much more. He has done a work that only He can take credit for. "Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain." (Psalms 127:1)

He has knocked me down only to build me up even stronger. He is my firm foundation, my rock and my salvation!

Update on Below Post...

2009-03-07T13:21:00.005-05:00

My Dad informed me the other evening over dinner that foosball is not a sport and the correlation between tennis and foosball didn't really work...

But he obviously forgot the pain I endured back in high school because of my "foosball injury" [my mother and I still refer to it as that]

He may be correct, foosball is probably not considered a sport. But that does not negate the pain I suffered when I was a senior in high school from playing foosball for hours on end at a friend's house one night. I woke up the next morning with the most throbbing pain in my right arm. I couldn't imagine what I had done to cause such terrible pain (at the time I was unaware my night of fun could be at fault). Thankfully my father is a chiropractor who specializes in extremities (that is arms and legs folks) so I went to see him. He then sent me to the massage therapist who as she was working on my arm informed me I had inflamed my muscles because of playing foosball the night before. I never would have guessed it, honestly!

Now folks, this sounds dramatic, I know. I only tell this story to add some credibility to my below post. And hopefully you'll laugh a little bit and all will be well!

Back to Work

2009-03-03T19:40:00.007-05:00

Today I was oh, so thankful to be going to work.

Last week I was in the bed sick and tired. I think I had the flu. It really didn't surprise me when I ended up sick. Five days with three little ones (in the cold) and they all were stuffed up... I saw it coming. [or I should say felt it coming] Only I didn't really do anything to ward it off. Silly me!

But forget about being sick, it is no fun and certainly no fun to talk about.

I think having two weeks away from work made me realize I really do love what I do. I am very thankful God has blessed me with a job that is fun and creative and often challenging. I work with one of my dearest friends and I have to admit that adds a lot to my working days. We generally have a blast while doing our job and long hours don't seem so long when you're working alongside a friend.

And we do put in some long hours and work hard, even though we have fun together...

Being a mom for five days I definitely put in long hours and the work never really stopped. Even while I was sleeping I had to be aware I could be called up at any moment. And forget about weekends, those hold little allure. It was challenging, there is NO denying that. But it was such a different kind of challenging work. I described it to a friend like this: When I played tennis growing up I had my muscles trained to work a certain way and I used the same muscles every time I picked up my racket. But when I went to play something else (like foosball for instance) I used those muscles trained to swing a tennis racket differently or even sometimes muscles I didn't use playing tennis. And let me tell you I would be sore the next day. It was always funny to me how sore I would be the next day, I couldn't understand it. I still was strong from playing tennis but that strength really didn't prepared me for playing foosball.

Are you wondering how I am going to relate this two topics?? [I'm a tad bit worried too.]

Working as an interior designer isn't really preparing me to be a mom. Just like playing tennis didn't really prepare me to play foosball. I am used to working hard, I like to work hard but man, I am not used to the hard work of being a mother of three little children. It is a LOT of work and it never stops. Right now I have a job that I get up and go to in the morning and leave in the evening. When you are a mom you don't stop being a mom, it is constant.

I learned a few things, while I was building up new muscles, working as a mom:

1. I don't want to stop being creative and having fun when I become a mom-- they are just a part of who I am.

2. My dream job (being a wife and mother) might just be the most challenging job on this earth-- I have my work cut out for me one day.

3. I think I'll marry someone I consider a friend just as much as a lover (excuse the cheesy term, I don't know what else to say) it will make the long hours and challenges so much more enjoyable-- and I'm thinking as parents you need that.

4. It will probably take me a long while to get my "mom muscles" strong and trained-- but that is ok, strength training takes time.

And for right now I am thankful to go to work in the morning and leave at the end of the day.

Happy 25th Birthday GABE!!

2009-02-20T11:45:00.000-05:00

Here's to you Gabriel James Mick,

Today you reach the Quarter Century Mark of your life...

You're looking good...

And very loved...

But you aren't old yet so go out out and celebrate!!

Happy Birthday to one terrific friend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Little Ears"

2009-02-19T10:38:00.002-05:00

One of the benefits of playing mom for a few days is hearing all the funny things kids say.

I don't always hear so well and find myself saying "pardon me" an AWFUL lot. SO yesterday I had to say "pardon me" a few times to the boys and after a while the oldest one looked at me funny and said: "do you have little ears?" To which I responded: "yes, I must."

Who knew it is my "little ears" that caused me to not hear half the things people say to me.

Playing Make Believe

2009-02-16T22:51:00.002-05:00

I have a great imagination so playing make believe has never been too hard for me.

For the next week I will be in Virginia playing mom to three adorable little children while their parents travel to Cali. I am super excited! It will be a new adventure for me...

Three little lives to take care of for five days. Holy Mommy!

I imagine I'll have some great stories to share, cute little things they'll say, precious memories. Only, it won't be make believe. I'll really be there and they'll really be depending on me to meet their needs while their real mom is away.

I am praying for grace and patience, fun and laughter, and a renewed spirit [little kids have a way of putting everything into perspective for me].

It is funny because I've been asking the Lord to put these fruits in me and it is just like Him to afford me a real life opportunity to put them into practice. I don't even have to imagine!

L-O-V-E-- do you know what that mean?

2009-02-14T11:31:00.003-05:00

"We love because He first loved us." 1John 4:19

This Valentine's day I am thinking about God's great love for me... I want to drown in His love!

If it were not for Jesus and His amazing gift on the cross I would be lost in finding love. I would be hopeless. But I am not hopeless and I am not lost. I have hope and am found in Christ Jesus!!

I am LOVED... and so are YOU!

So, if you're feeling all alone and hopeless this Valentine's day know that Jesus Christ loves you. He not only wants you to be His Valentine but is down on one knee asking you to spend the rest of your days (and all of eternity) with Him.

[I'll say yes to that proposal!]

Today I felt like I was back in COLLEGE

2009-02-10T22:07:00.008-05:00

... it was great!

I had the day off so I decided to drive to Athens [so not my aluma mater] to visit my dear, sweet friend. His birthday is next Friday, the big 2-5, and I won't be in town to celebrate with him so I thought why not celebrate a little bit early.

We went to lunch downtown Athens at this little Indian place, ate the lunch buffet [that is how much I love this guy] and then he headed back to class and I headed over to his house. I was just going to drop off some cookies and head back to Atlanta but my friend just happens to live with five of the most amazing guys in Athens, so I stayed to visit.

This is something I truly miss about being in college--hanging out. We just don't do this in the "real world" [sure you may hang out after work or on the weekends, but is it really the same?] I mean who is home at 3 o'clock in the afternoon to just sit around and visit? Or, if you are lucky enough to be home in the afternoon everyone else is still at work. And if you are home you are probably trying to get stuff done like laundry or paying the bills or walking the dog...

But in college someone is always home... and usually up for hanging out...

So, today I sat and visited for a while. It was nice and I'm really glad I got to do it!

Is THIS what Love Looks Like Now?

2009-02-09T10:50:00.008-05:00

"Text Me" I can't say this would be my ideal message, but I guess it is better than "Facebook me"-- right?

But I have to admit I still love conversation hearts. I don't really love the way they taste, but there is something so whimsical about them I just can't resist buying a pack at Valentine's!

Ever Feel Like...

2009-02-05T18:22:00.008-05:00

You keep missing "it"?

I do.

I feel like I finally begin to get it and then something happens and I totally lose it. And I wonder what just happened? I thought I was getting this, this thing I know I need to get, I want to get and yet I can't seem to hang onto it.

I wonder, while I live in this earthly flesh, if I'll ever get "it?" I am guessing: Probably not. Which makes me sad, but then I am reminded of Paul's words to the Philippians:

Finally, my brothers, rejoice in the Lord! It is no trouble for me to write the same things to you again, and it is a safeguard for you.

Watch out for those dogs, those men who do evil, those mutilators of the flesh. For it is we who are the circumcision, we who worship by the Spirit of God, who glory in Christ Jesus, and who put no confidence in the flesh-- though I myself have reason for such confidence.

If anyone else thinks he has reasons to put confidence in the flesh, I have more: circumcised on the eight day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; in regard for zeal, persecuting the church; as for legalistic righteousness, faultless.

But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ-- the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like death, and so, somehow, to attain the resurrection from the dead.

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that which Christ Jesus took hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

(Phillippians 3:1-14)

Even Paul, who could have had "it", didn't want "it". He knew if he got "it" he would be throwing away his need for the grace and goodness of ALL Christ Jesus did. All he wanted was Christ!

Praise the Lord!! I'm going to forget about getting my "it" and figure out how to hold onto Christ and let Him take care of it.

I guess I really am Southern

2009-02-03T21:25:00.005-05:00

I am sure some of you are wondering how my trip to NYC was, or more importantly, my blind date... I understand, I would be wondering myself.

So I want to put your minds to rest...

NYC Blind Date was not the one for me. It was a totally fun experience. I don't regret going one tiny bit! It was fun to get dressed up and go out on the town and meet someone new. But I am pretty sure I am southern through and through and I'm not sure that meshes so well with a northerner through and through (unless of course this is something the Lord has ordained and then it could probably be done).

I now understand why my mother is always saying this to me: "I am so happy [thankful, etc.] that we were able to raise you in the south." I would always hear her say this to me, but I never took it much to heart. I didn't really think there was that much different between the north and the south, honestly.

My mother's family is from Ohio and they are great people! Although, they have lived in Georgia for over 25 years now and for my mom and her siblings that is longer than they lived in Ohio. So, maybe, just maybe, the south has managed to get in their blood.

We still keep many of our family's northern traditions. On New Year's when all my friend's families are eating black eyed peas and collard greens we're eating hot dogs and sauerkraut. At Easter we eat pickled beats and eggs-- I know no one down here who has that tradition. But I'm glad we are able to integrate our northern roots into our southern lives.

I am the first person in my family to be born and raised in the South. And to be honest, I'll be happy to always call the south, particularly Georgia, my home!

We All Have Dreams

2009-01-29T17:47:00.005-05:00

Today I was in the office making copies, a very exciting job, when my boss lady said, "Someday I'll have a fancy copier." And then we just giggled and giggled...

Who dreams of having a "fancy copier"-- right? But I would dare to say the same people who dream of having their own business one day dream of having "fancy copiers" another day. It is just the natural progression of the dream. Once you have the business you need great, or "fancy" things to make it everything you ever dreamed of.

One dream builds upon another...

[I wonder what builds off of the dream of having someone iron your sheets for you?]

Right now I don't dream of ever owning a "fancy copier" or even owning my own business. I have other dreams. Dreams that if I said them aloud, like my boss lady did today, we would giggle about too. But they're my dreams and dreams come in all sorts of sizes. It is a beautiful thing!

I am reminded of a little quote that was inside an old journal of mine:

"Keep one still and secret place

where dreams may go

and sheltered so

may bloom and grow."

Here's Something...

2009-01-26T15:40:00.003-05:00

On Friday I am going to NYC for a blind date!

You may ask: "why are you flying all the way to NY for a blind date?" That is an understandable question, one I might ask as well. Only folks, it's me! I love doing crazy things like this... so a better question might be: "how in the world did you get set up on a blind date in NYC?"

The easy answer is my uncle's assistant.

I met my uncle's assistant and her husband over Thanksgiving in Atlanta. And two weeks ago I received an email from my uncle with the subject title "FW: blind date." His assistant had a guy she wanted me to meet! It didn't take me long to decide that I shouldn't pass up this opportunity so I booked my flight and picked out a dress.

I don't know much about my blind date. I know he is tall-- yes! He loves dogs and is a great golfer-- yes! He is from Nebraska and works in finance-- yes! ...and really that is all I know. But I am okay with it.

I have never been on a blind date before. So, I thought why not go all the way and know as little as possibly prior to meeting. Hopefully, that will leave us with plenty to talk about on Friday.

Who knows, this could end up being one of the most fun dates I have ever been on... or the worst. But it doesn't matter! I am looking at it as another opportunity to trust the Lord and let Him work things out. I didn't have to do anything for this gift, He just placed it in my lap. So, I'm going to enjoy it and praise Him for it!

Think of me on Friday... and I'll keep you posted!

What in the World Could I Have to Blog About?

2009-01-24T11:15:00.002-05:00

...this was the question one of my best friends asked me last night...

She proceed to say, "you're not married, you don't have any kids... I just don't see why you do it?"

She is right. I'm not married and I don't have any kids-- thank you Lord, but I still have a life. And frankly, I may not be the best writer in the world, but I totally enjoy sitting down and letting my fingers go wherever my mind may take them.

There are too many people who think their life doesn't really start until they get married (my bff is not one of these people, thank heaven!). But that is such a crock of bologna. I love being single! I don't necessarily want to be to single for forever and I certainly haven't always felt this way. But I am learning to enjoy this time in my life. I'm young and have an amazing group of friends and an amazing family. I'm active, I'm healthy, I love to have fun and go and do things. This is actually an amazingly exciting stage in my life and I want to enjoy every second it!

Life is too short and God is too good to miss out on things He has for you! Each stage and process in your life is important and there are things the Lord wants to teach you and draw out of you and pour into you. I lived way too much of my life wanting to jump ahead to the next stage without truly enjoying where I was... I am tried of living that way... I don't want to put God on my terms any longer but start living in HIS terms and HIS time.

Wise Words...

2009-01-22T18:19:00.003-05:00

I was talking with a client today and she shared something with me that I thought I ought not keep to myself.

I was asking her if her husband was very excited about the selections she was making for their new kitchen. She said he didn't really care, but she didn't mind that he didn't care. In fact, she was very happy to get what she wanted. Then she said this: I have discovered that most men, except for the very selfish ones, are really very happy if the woman in their life is happy.

WOW! do we really have that much power over men?

I never would have thought about this before. My dad is really the main man in my life and is generally a happy guy. So I was thinking about our relationship and when I really start to think about it whenever my mom or I would ask Dad what he wanted to eat or what he wanted to do he would always say "whatever y'all want." That would always drive me crazy. I just wanted him to decide for us. But maybe, just maybe he knew if we picked we would be most happy in-return making him most happy.

And we were generally very happy!

So, next time you are making plans with a fellow and he asks you what you want to do remember this little piece of advice and you'll both be happy!

Cheer Up They Say

2009-01-20T20:58:00.004-05:00

So, yesterday I sounded a bit like a spoiled brat... I'm sorry...

I left the house for a little "retail therapy" as my friends call it and came home feeling much better and surprised that the giant hole in our back yard was really taking on the shape of a pool! Maybe we will get to enjoy this little dream, even if it is only for a little while.

As I go throughout my day I have thoughts that I think could make for an interesting read on this here blog... but by the time I get home and sit down to write something they have all escaped me... I think this is why I failed at writing much last year. I might have to be like a reporter and carry around a little notepad every where I go.

The only thought that stuck with me the whole day is this: I love living in Buckhead! It really is like living in a small town. I know people think I am crazy when I say this, but it is honestly true! I met a friend for dinner tonight at one of my favorite little Mexican restaurants. She always laughs whenever we go-- I always see someone I know. Tonight I saw: a friend from high school, my boss's dad, and then the same high school friend's parents came in.

It is great! I am reminded the world really isn't that big and I serve a God who loves to lead me along His path... which might just happen to lead me across some friendly, familiar faces.

We're Getting a Pool

2009-01-19T12:57:00.003-05:00

In a few short weeks inside those white lines will be a glorious pool....

Until then we will be bombarded with bobcats, workmen, and dirt.

Whenever I tell people we are getting a pool they say, "aren't you excited?" and I usually respond with a plain and simple "No" I should be thrilled we are getting a pool. I have dreamed of having a pool as long as I can remember. So why I am I so not excited about this dream coming true?

I guess it has something to do with the West Wesley house (my home) being on the market. I've lived here for two years now-- sans a pool (that is without). And now that we are getting a pool there is a possibility we won't be here long enough to enjoy it. Someone else may get to enjoy my dream and I'll just have to wave goodbye...

But maybe this is how life goes sometimes... we have dreams and we have to share them with others. It isn't the end of the world, just the end of a dream. And really, it isn't even the end of the dream, it is the fulfillment of the dream just with a different ending...

A new year... hopefully a new me

2009-01-16T13:18:00.003-05:00

Happy New Year!

Okay, I know we are 16 days into 2009, but honestly who can believe it! I know I can't believe it. I was under the impression we were still in the first full week of the new year until Wednesday when my boss asked for my hours to pay me. I couldn't understand why she was paying me on the 7th, when I usually get paid on the 15th... resolution #1: use daytimer more often!

So, I didn't really hop back on the blogging bandwagon back in June when I said I would... sorry charlie! But here I am, January 16th, 2009 and this time I am seriously going to keep this baby updated. Maybe I won't try to go so deep and it will be easier. Sometimes I may just post a fun photo or tell a funny story... resolution #2: update blog regularly!

If anyone is reading this blog-- great! A lot has happened since June 2008. I took the summer off. What a gift from the Lord! I was able to relax and enjoy life. I traveled and enjoyed being able to spend loads of time with my friends and family. It was wonderful! Then in August, right before Labor day, one of my dearest friends asked me to lunch and asked me if I would like to be her design assistant. I said "YES" and it has been the best thing ever!

WOW! God blew my socks off... I never would have dreamed I'd be in such a great job, not in politics, right now. The Lord knows what is best, don't ever let yourself believe differently! I could go on and on about this truth. He takes you down these paths you think are leading you one way only to surprise you when you end up somewhere totally different. A better place. A sweeter, more fulfilling place-- but maybe one we would have never gone ourselves... resolution #3: Trust in the Lord every moment of everyday, knowing He loves me and only wants the best for me.

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit" Romans 15:13

Back to Blogging

2008-06-26T01:39:00.004-04:00

So, I know, I have been seriously MIA for, oh, the past month or so. I am not sure what happened but I fell off the bandwagon and now I am attempting at getting back on.

I am thinking everyone who was looking at my blog has abandoned me for other blogs that are updated regularly or at least semi-regularly. But come back to me friends! I am going to try to be more faithful in posting.

So, are you wondering what I have been up to since my last post. I was so excited to have two more weeks at the GA Capitol and man they were two long weeks. I can't explain why they felt so long, but trust me they were. But never the less I was thankful for them and the paychecks that went along with them!

My last day down there was May 30th. It was one of those days you are excited for and sad about at the same time. I hated to leave my sweet officemate Katie but was glad to be free from our windowless office and hours sitting at a desk searching for entertainment. Long lunches with Nate would not be as frequent and random free lunches are a thing of the past. But hope of greener pastures are on the horizon...

I have had three job interviews since I finished at the Capitol. Waiting to see which one wants me...

And enjoying summer!

What a blessing it has been... I have loved every second of this wonderful gift the Lord has given me. Time at the pool, lunches and dinners with friends. Late nights with no guilt of being tired at work the next day. Fun trips out of town. I told my friend in May wouldn't it be fun if I could just take the summer off-- I never would have expected to get it-- but I did and it is a blast!

The Lord has been so good to me and taken such sweet care of me. It is nice to know I can rest in His care because He takes such good care of His own. SO I have been resting and enjoying every second of every day knowing the Lord is got everything taken care of!

Good News, Good News!

2008-05-16T10:45:00.004-04:00

My prayer was answered yesterday!

I have been wondering for the past few weeks if today was going to be my last day at the Capitol but yesterday I found out I get to stay until the 30th of May. It is crazy how stressed out I had become over this unknown. I just kept asking the Lord for an answer... and got nothing in return-- well that isn't totally true...

He did answer me over and over again: just wait, I will take care of you.

I just never got the answer I wanted. Would I still have an income next week? I am so dense sometimes. I know the Lord is faithful. I know He isn't going to let me starve. I just wanted to be in the know.

He never gives us an answer before we need one-- Nope, He allows us to go through the waiting period so He can strengthen our faith and teach us to keep our eyes fixed on Him alone.

I don't know why I was surprised by it but He answered me just in the nick of time.

So for the next two weeks I am going to practice keeping my eyes firmly fixed on my Savior. I know He has the perfect job for me! And I have to believe my friend Nate is right, the Lord is preparing me for my next job and preparing that job for me.

KK and E-Smitty...

2008-05-14T17:38:00.003-04:00

Two of the best friends a girl could ask for!

I wish I were clever enough to write a sweet poem or haiku about how much these two girls mean to me. But really there isn't a poet or person who could put into words how much they mean to me!

Y'all are:

Silly, Spontaneous, Funny, Godly, Clever, Charming, Creatvie, Beautiful, Blessed, Sweet, Southern Goodness...

what catches they will be for the man of their dreams!

I love you both dearly... we laugh and always have a good time. You brighten my life in every way.

I LOVE YOU MUCHO!!!!

It's on the Tip of My Heart

2008-05-13T09:35:00.003-04:00

OK, I guess you can call me cheesy. But I can't remember if Bebo Norman coined this expression or I did. I think Bebo did... I actually believe I coined the expression, which I doubt anyone really uses, it's on the tip of my brain.

I didn't come up with this expression because I'm so naturally witty-- No the truth is my brain often goes slower than my mouth and I couldn't remember the expression it's on the tip of my tongue. So I made up my own expression. This is something I have been doing for years. I remember the general idea of a saying or expression but I don't remember the particulars-- like the actual words that belong in the expression. So I express it as best I can in good old Melissa fashion. I guess you could call them "Melissaisms."

But I digress...

I haven't listened to Bebo Norman in a long while, but this morning I decided to put him on while I was getting ready. One thing I love about my i-Pod is that you can select an artist and it will shuffle through all their songs. I love the surprise in not knowing what song will be next. So, you guessed it: "It's on the Tip of My Heart" came on. And like a flood, everything I have been feeling for the past couple of weeks came out in a pretty tied up package.

Words have been on the tip of my heart but I haven't been able to get them out.

I know the Lord loves teaching us. So in His sweet, sweet way he reaffirms what He is trying to show me this morning by reminding me of a passage in Romans: In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will. (8:26-27)

I don't have to worry! I don't have to fear! Even though I have a heavy heart full of questions I can't express and a desire for answers I don't need right now-- I don't have to fret. Instead I will Rejoice in the Lord always!

I love how the Lord will use anything and everything to bless our hearts just when we need it!

It's on the tip of my heart, the words to say
But I fall apart and I walk away
There's an angry world pressed against my back
And at every turn I keep looking back
And I know you promise me
Love through eternity
So why can't I just hold on

I want to live, I want to love
But I'm afraid my simple faith will never be enough
I want to laugh, I want to be set free
And let you hold all that my soul has deep inside of me
But I don't know where to start
It's on the tip of my heart

So would you take my hand, because I'm sinking in
To this life I've made, but don't understand
The clock moves so slowly, but time goes so fast
In this whirlwind world that will never last
This love you're giving me
It's not just make believe
Help me just to hold one
You open the sky, and open my eyes
And all my fears are scattered away
So I walk in grace, because I've seen your face
You are all that matters to me

So I'm gonna live, I'm gonna love
I'm not afraid because your grace will always be enough
I'm gonna laugh, I'm gonna be set free
And let you hold all that my soul has deep inside of me
You have shown me where to start
It's on the tip of my heart

Girls and Shoes:: Boys and Guns

2008-05-11T21:58:00.031-04:00

I love shoes! I bet most of my friends know this about me. One day I tallied up [roughly] how much I spent on all the shoes in my closet and let me just say it was more than I would like to admit to anyone reading this. But I think I am not the only girl who has this... hmm... problem.

I think most girls would at least admit they like shoes. A good pair of shoes can make you feel like the most beautiful girl at the party. Shoes are fun, they are cute, they can make you feel taller, slimmer, sexier, dare I even say more comfortable. I don't know what it is but something about them causes me to fall head head over heels in love.

I'd like to think I have a pair for almost any occasion. There are the work shoes. Casual shoes. Going out shoes. Getting dressed up shoes. Running shoes. Outdoor shoes. The really pretty but not very comfortable shoes. Shoes in every color and for every season.

I always wondered if guys had something that they could be so, might I say obsessed with. At one point I thought it might be cars, but really cars aren't like shoes. Most people don't have a car for every occasion. But this weekend I think I discovered what it is... GUNS.

Boys love guns! The look on my friend's faces when they were pulling out all of their different guns was priceless. They all had to hold each one and try them out. It was like me showing off a beautiful pair of designer shoes I found on sale for some ridiculously cheap price. Someone would ask to hold them or try them on.

I don't know how much a gun cost but I would like to think if one guy tallied up all his guns it would be more than all my shoes!

Maybe all guys don't love guns as much as my guy friends do, but I would like to think that any guy would feel more manly holding a gun. Nothing says "I'm a real man" like a guy with a gun over his shoulder or on his hip.

They had shot guns, riffles, pistols, hand guns... a gun to make you feel more powerful, stronger, taller, might I even say smarter. Guns for hunting, guns for target practice. Guns that are fast and guns that are precise.

A gun for any occasion, maybe not in every color.

Waiting at the Capitol

2008-04-30T15:54:00.007-04:00

I have been sitting at my little "intern desk" all day today. This is an odd occasion. Usually I find some reason to escape from my little desk. Generally I take a lunch outing, visit another office, or take a lap or two around this place I have learned to love over the past four months

I'm not sure why I haven't left my desk today.

I haven't been busy. Busy isn't a word associated with my job these days. The Capitol is the sort of place that is either dead or running on overdrive.

The past four weeks have been dead.

I come in, check my work email, my personal email, and Facebook. And then I wait. I wait for the phone to ring, a little message to flash across the bottom of my screen alerting me I have a new email, or someone to suddenly appear in our little office to visit for a while. I am really just waiting for something (or even someone) to entertain me and fill my day with something other than waiting.

I really have never cared much for waiting. And it has never been particularly easy for me. My mind wonders too much to just sit around and wait.

I like to know what direction I am headed in and where I am going to end up. But to sit around and wait to find out where I'm going is like torture. So, I fill my days with busyness trying to forget the fact that there is something I am waiting for. There seem to be so many things I am waiting on these days:

My twenty-fifth birthday-- I know crazy, but I am excited.
My next job/a career.
My husband.
Buying a new car.
Moving out on my own.

I am reminded of the Psalms that says: I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning [130: 5-6].

I cannot imagine being a watchmen. Watching and waiting is their job. They don't just sit around filling their time with busyness until something happens-- they watch and they wait and when something happens they are ready.

I want to be ready!

So no matter what is next I will be waiting... and watching... and hoping... like it is my job.

Hello

2008-04-29T13:54:00.004-04:00

I have decided to join the world of "blogging."

I really have no idea what I am doing, but more and more this seems to be the case in my life. The past few months have been some of the most interesting, curious I have ever experienced. I haven't been able to put it into words and I'm not sure I ever will. Something in me has changed, and I hope it is for the better.

I am reminded it is a good thing I'm not really in charge of my path. There is a Proverbs that says: In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps [16:9]. Life hasn't been the same and I'm not sure it will ever be the same... God is calling me forward and I want to run after Him with all my strength.

So follow me along the path and see where the Lord leads...